Desbladet
- Neither decorative nor useful
home archives guestbladet mail host

Something to say? Desbladet wants to hear about it! Please use the guestbladet for comments!

(I know, I know, but it's the way we diarylanders have done it for generations.)

2005-02-25 21:51

History is made: Ahonen smiles

We can't improve on VG's headline Historiske Ahonen smilte ("Historic Ahonen smiles"), and they also provide photographic evidence, which after all you would need for such a claim, isn't it?

We quote from their interview with Janne "The Manne Romani (except he isn't)[1]" Ahonen:

- Nordmennene kaller det tidenes hoppkonkurranse. Er du enig?

- Ja, det var iallfall fryktelig spennende. Jeg leverte to gode skihopp og er utrolig fornyd, sier den suverene finnen til VG Nett.

"Norwegishes are calling it the all-time greatest jumpningcompetition of all time. Do you agree?"

"Yes, it was in any case quite frightfully exciting. I made two (2) good skihops and am quite unbelievably pleased," said the masterful Finn to VG Online.

The British Yoorosport commentator crew - doubled in size by the addition of Inger Wossname and his comedy Norwegish accent, who we in no way suspect of being the usual commentator putting on a silly voice - were also enig that this was the all-time greatest hoppningcompetition of all time, and it was certainly the best we've ever seen.

[1] One of our more Varied Readers has alerted us to the fact that "Manne" can mean "Romany" (""Gypsy"") in unflattering Finnish usage; we think we may have to renickname him. How about, under the circumstances, "Hilarity" Ahonen?

2005-02-25 17:17

Hoppning half-time

It is a very fabulous competition: the Worldness of the Championship is bringing out the best in the hoppare, and Janne "The Manne" Ahonen has the slenderestest of leads...

Meanwhile, the Beeb has a "Come on, Blighty, it's only a bit of snoe!" feature. Jim from Skelleftea [sic, and we can't fix it here] in Northsweden observes or remarks, rather smugly we feel:

Public transport here runs like clockwork and I have never been late to work due to a bus being late or cancelled. The roads are generally clear and the footpaths are always taken care of. It's great!

And there are additional complacent remarks from Cananananada, Norway, and even Chicago in the good ol' FDR.

And while it is quite true that the Schneekaos is rare in northern parts of 'Wegia, we would remind their Uppsala correspondent that we've seen the roaddangerwarnings in Swedish 'bladets, and they are not a pretty sight. Don't make us come over there and debunk you, Uppsaliste!

2005-02-25 09:07

Snow!

The view from the chateau's highest garret:

We're off to London in a bit in search of ages of gold, me hearties (arrrr!) so we'll see how much kaos this has caused...

2005-02-24 18:32

A Mighty Fixning!

I've never had a Windows box of my own, which is plenty, so when the Dowager Countess informed me hers was booting into Slow Mood ("Safe Mode") ever since I was up last, I feared the at least fairly bad if not quite the worst.

But many kudoi ("kudoses") to NTL's technical support menu-phone thingy: just before it would grant access to a person (or more likely a queue) it remarked that "most cable modems can be fixed by" judiciously sequenced on and off sequences, and it said this in a tone that made it very clear that if you didn't hang up and do this then the support droid was going to sigh and tell you to do just that anyway, only louder and slower.

So we did, and it worked, and we are back back back online!

2005-02-23 15:28

London, Capital of Yoorp

I find a something in the UK section of the BeebNews!

Glance in the window of the newsagent on the corner of Dalling Road in Hammersmith, west London, and you might think you have somehow been transported to eastern Europe.

The job advert cards in Polish and other Slavic languages greatly outnumber those in English, and most of the people scribbling down details hail from the European Union's newest member states.

(Polandland is Central Yoorp thankyouverymuch, Beeboid.)

The article concedes in passing that "fewer than a quarter of the new arrivals have settled in London with many finding work in rural areas in the agricultural sector", but then gets on with the serious business of collecting anecdotal evidence from persons outseide that newsagent in Hammersmith.

We are treating this as a port of a TV segment at present, for sure. But even if we still have a taste for proper evidence anecdotes are interesting, too.

NB: I'm away for the rest of the week to watch the skihoppning VM, and the Chteau's computning systems are currently down with snkaos or something, so I'll prolly be incommunicado. Back Monday.

[Permalink]

2005-02-23 12:09

Smrgspost

1. Why I *heart* Le Monde

La neige entrane d'importantes perturbations en rgion parisienne

Sn leads to significant disruptions in the Parisienne region

C'est magnifique!

2. Mouse-Marriage Malfeasance!

It is those mouse-molesteurs, the scientistes, and they're at it again!

Extremt sociala kersorkar som r evigt trogna sina livspartner kan frvandlas till motsatsen genom blockering av vissa receptorer i hjrnan.

Extremely social somethingfieldmice who are eternally faithful to their lifepartners can be changed into the opposite by blocking certain receptors in their spicy brains.

Larry Young from Emory University - for it is he from it! - is responsible, and will be getting no biscuits from us.

En enda gen tycks ha betydelse fr ett komplext socialt beteende, konstaterade Young.

A single gene seems to have implications for a complex social behaviour, said Young.

Wipe that smirk off, Steven "Ping-Pong" Pinker - there is also plenty of evidence that persons aren't mice, isn't it?

3. Kronprinsessmary, Fairytalest of them all!

Starved, as we lately have been of proper prinsessgossip (we will not be fobbed off with the Camilla von Pinvin rubbish) we turn to Expressen and find:

Danska kronprinsparet har rstats fram som vrldens mest romantiska par.

The Danish crownprinsesscouple have been voted the world's most romantic couple in the world!

But who voted this such excellent votening?

Drygt 50 procent av alla som deltog i det internationella kndismagasinet Hellos omrstning valde Mary och Frederik, Danmarks framtida drottning och kung, som vr tids mest romantiska par.

A good 50 percent of all who took part in the international celeb-magazine Hello's poll chose Kronprinsessmary and her husband, Danmark's future queen and king, as the most romantic couple of our time.

[Permalink]

2005-02-23 10:17

A Walkning to Work

Early (i.e., before 09:00) today. The Wimmin in the Red Coat, who walks the opposite way to work, has changed her coat: it is, in particular, not red anymore! We recognised her a mile off by her walk, though but, and then confirmed our diagnosis with her shoes.

New graffiti on the wall on the corner says "Mudwig Bahnoff". I am just barely resisting the temptation to get a spray can and point out that it should be "Bahnhoff", silly Englishes, since after all it might not be.

Dustnings of sn on car rooves ("roofs"), very fetching.


Bonus Snkaos! The export market is thriving!

Snkaos i Madrid och Paris

Snkaos in Mari and Paree!

Oh l l! Is that ze kaos de neige you wear?
But yes! From Louis Vitton: it is most fashionable!

[Permalink]

2005-02-22 15:27

Smrgspost

1. Snkaosbitchnings

Yesterday nobody was actually using the sacred phrase; today they are:

Snow chaos hits commuters [edited highlights, lightly glossed]

Last night weather warnings were so bad Transport for London advised passengers not to travel this morning unless "absolutely necessary".

But this advice was condemned today by business leaders. A spokesman for the London Chamber of Commerce said: "To advise people not to travel in London on a day when there is only a scattering of snow is certainly not helpful. It seems, with hindsight, to be rather an over reaction."

"Snkaos? You call that snkaos? There's hardly any sn, and there's certainly no kaos!"

A TfL spokeswoman said: "We advised passengers not to travel after receiving weather reports from the Met Office which warned of significant amounts of snow."

"That snow failed to arrive. So instead we are advising passengers to check with transport operators-before they travel."

"Look, the weather people said 'sn' so we figured there was bound to be kaos. Why don't you &^*?!% off and tell them how to predict the weather if you're so $%^&ing clever?"

We do so like a bit of tact.

2. Dear Grauniad,

About your vacancy for a fact-checker. What? I think you'll find you have:

Also in contention are the Albanian Ismail Kadare, the Polish-born Milan Kundera, Argentina's Tomas Eloy Martnez, Japan's Kenzaburo Oe, Cynthia Ozick from the US, Italy's Antonio Tabucchi, and AB Yehoshua from Israel.

Dude! This is the most annoying misattribution since our tutor alleged that Arthur Miller wrote On the Waterfront while we were out of Googling range. Which admittedly was only last night...

3. What Booker International Prize, anyway?

The Beeb lists the full list, and if you're us you will be wondering what on earth is going on until you spot the get-out clause "The prize commends an author for their body of work instead of one book."

The prize, also, is "open to writers of all nationalities who write in English or are widely translated." (Presumably there's a silent "into the silly Engleesh" there?) So this is more of a Nobel Lite(TM) than anything a sane person could give a monkey's about.

[Permalink]

2005-02-22 12:32

EU Langwidgetact !

This time it's Italy:

Italy has complained at EU Commission plans to drop Italian translation from some of its press briefings.

This is one (1) way of putting it: they are in fact planning to drop all of the twenty (20) langwidges that are not English, French or German, leaving only three (3).

The Italian commissioner in Brussels, Franco Frattini, reportedly told the Corriere della Sera newspaper that from now on, he would only speak Italian at his own press conferences.

That'll show 'em! It's dead classy how Italy has formed a common front with Greece and Spain on this issue, or at least it might be if they had. The main reason Germany is undroppable as a Very Core EU Langwidge is that they had the wit to arrange a mutual back-scratchning langwidge policy bloc with the Frenchy-French.

[Permalink]

2005-02-22 10:37

The cosmopolitan cheapskate

When I am in Abroadia, I wish for my accommodation to be cleanish and to provide a bed. Toilets and showers should be available, certainly, but en-suite is overkill. And I wish, further, to pay as little money as possible, since I would much prefer to spend it on yummy l and sossages, say, or vino della casa and suckling piggywig.

It is, thus, the Routard guide to Barcelone! By reputation, les Routards are well adapted to my priority system, and on preliminary inspection I am favourably impressed: it has some pensions at around EUR 25 for a single which is musique to our miserly ears, for sure.

Plus I just simply don't believe a French guidebook would recommend a bad restaurant. This is an article of faith, but let's pretend that it is simply a hypothesis, and that I wish to test it.

[Permalink]

2005-02-21 17:14

Think of the pingvins!

There's been a lot of discussion lately about whether pingvins are entitled to marry a divorcee in a civil ceremony and still be heir to the nest, but it's all sorted on now:

Frn och med den 5 december kommer homosexuella par i Storbritannien att ha mjlighet att registrera partnerskap.
- Den nya lagen kommer att innebra en verklig skillnad fr dessa par och den demonstrerar regeringens engagemang fr jmlikhet och social rttvisa, sger vice jmstlldhetsminister Jacqui Smith enligt nyhetsbyrn AP.

From the 5 December persons of sexuality will be able to register partnerships.
"The new law will make a real different for these couples and demonstrates the government's engagement for equality and social justice", bleated identikit Blairite droid ("equalityminister") Jacqui Smith.

The problem with hating the Blair regime is that they are demonstrably the good guys, isn't it?

(I was wondering, incidentally, how come I hadn't seen this in Blighty's own press, until I remembered that I don't read the local 'bladets.)

[Permalink]

2005-02-21 17:06

Think of the pingvins!

Frn och med den 5 december kommer homosexuella par i Storbritannien att ha mjlighet att registrera partnerskap.
- Den nya lagen kommer att innebra en verklig skillnad fr dessa par och den demonstrerar regeringens engagemang fr jmlikhet och social rttvisa, sger vice jmstlldhetsminister Jacqui Smith enligt nyhetsbyrn AP.

From the 5 December persons of sexuality will be able to register partnerships.
"The new law will make a real different for these couples and demonstrates the government's engagement for equality and social justice", bleated identikit Blairite droid ("equalityminister") Jacqui Smith.

The problem with hating the Blair regime is that they are demonstrably the good guys, isn't it?

(I was wondering, incidentally, how come I hadn't seen this in Blighty's own press, until I remembered that I don't read the local 'bladets.)

[Permalink]

2005-02-21 12:06

Smrgspost

1. On Checking a Fact

The Grauniad states or asserts:

Wittgenstein's work Philosophical Investigations - published two years after he died in England in 1951 at the age of 62 - topped a poll among professional philosophers conducted in 2000 as the most important philosophical work of the 20th century. The Tractatus came fourth.

But the Grauniad states or asserts erroneously: this is certainly the Baruch Poll of Great Philosophy Books of the Twentieth Century, conducted in 1998, mentioned here and uppwritten in 1999.

Martin "Heigh-ho!" Heidegger's Being and Time is second, incidentally, and if that represents the mainstream of American philosophical opinion then we are the fattest wimmin in Belgium, which we are not.

2. On having answered a question

We have completed our first Tutor-Marked Assignment ("TMA", yes, really)! We have wrassled our references into the finest Hahvud style! We have not, of course, reread our answer, which is one of the weaknesses of our composition process - we are the worst, and most reluctant, proof-reader we know.

But still. The inhandning (more than a week early!) is to be tonight: we have decided.

3. On choosing fonts.

We have set our LaTeX to use "Palatino", since this is not so ugly as Computer Modern. But we would consider an outsplashning of the cold hard on a really nice font for our essays, if we found one we really really liked.

When we were young, the late Count had spiral bound books of font samples, in which we delighted. Do these still exist, or have they vanished now that I actually have a use for them?

And does anyone have any recommendations? I want a serif font that subliminally screams "This essay or paper is of stupendous quality and you must give it all the marks that there are to give, and possibly invent some new ones to give it, also!"

[Permalink]

2005-02-21 08:30

Snow chaos!

"Snow chaos?" you ask or enquire.
"It is a kind of chaos which is caused by snow", we explain or gloss.
"Ah", you exclaim with relief, "It is merely a rebrandning of our trusted friend snkaos for the silly English market!"

Indeed so! We haven't had any in Bristle, though but. Meanwhile, we consider the perils also of belief:

But for a public anticipating chaos at the first sign of any weather extreme - think of past experiences of snow, ice, fog, wind, rain and wet leaves - the question must surely be: Why do we seem so woefully unprepared at the first hint of severe weather?

Weather forecaster Sian Lloyd believes the country would be better prepared for weather extremes if they happened on a more regular basis, thus justifying the vast expense of adequate precautions.

Do you read a lot of Scandiwegian newsbladets, weather forecaster Sian Lloyd?

We thought not.

[Permalink]

previous, next, latest

Site Meter