2005-05-27 15:51
It's hot hot hot today, which in Blightian terms means the high 20s,
but I had to go to the library in the baking scorching sweltering heat
that there is, except that on the way I happened upon a colleague and
he lent me the book in question - it was a question of a book, you
see - instead.
I hope it's an air-conditioned train going oop north this evening and
I especially hope there's a seat on it for our Imperial arse.
And with this thought, I take, Varied Reader, my leave of you until
Tuesday or I get a convenient spell of Interweb access, WCS.
[Permalink]
2005-05-27 13:50
�1. Prinsesspractice: pre-sprog pooch preparations
It is our dearly beloved Knudella
walkin' the dawg her very own self:
Frederik og Mary har sagt, at de selv vil st� for opdragelsen af deres
barn, og det samme g�lder �benbart for deres hund.
Kronprinsfred and Knudella ("Mary") have said that they will take
charge of bringing up their children(s), and the same clearly goes for
their doggy.
Childrens aren't just for Christmas, too!
[link supplied and quoted by Birgitte, tack!]
�2. Careering around
It is on Tuesdays that I need to buy the Graun for jobs.
There are a few jobs knocking around involving data wrangling (from IT
systems) to inform government policy at local or (specialised)
national levels, and I fail to see why anyone should be better at that
than I can arrange to be in short order.
�3. Lunch
We all piled off out for lunch, and then when we got back one of our
visitors remarked that he was looking for someone with my name, not
realising that I was such a person. Maths departments, isn't it?
[Permalink]
2005-05-27 09:52
It is the Tsky-Tsk trashbladets, and they are targetting Unprins Marius
(8). Which is entirely out of order, for sure - his mummy may be
the lovely kronprinsess Mette-Marit, but he himself is both a children
and a civilian.
Etter �r med l�gnhistorier om kronprinsparet, har tyske ukeblader
begynt � fabrikkere historier om Marius Borg H�iby (8).
After years of printing lies about the kronprinscouple, German
trashbladets have started making up stories about Marius Borg H�iby (8).
Our thrashbladet of preference, Neue Blatt is not on the list
of shame and in fact seems to have got the memo that Royle Hices are
equipped with lawyers and are not afraid to use them.
Meanwhile VG goes on to huff:
Artiklene er langt fra hva en kan finne i norske ukeblader.
The articles are far from what may be found in Norwegish
trashbladets.
Butter wouldn't melt, isn't it? Se og H�r, for one, wouldn't
slander a fly...
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2005-05-26 16:28
We are not a connoisseur of BBC Radio Hampstead's In Our Time,
and we find it difficult to regret a situation that has minimised our
exposure to Melvyn Bragg (an institution in British arts programming,
and one for which we have but little time) but they are hosting a poll
on the Greatest
Philosophe EVAR.
Nominations are open to the public, which is as necessary as it is
civilised given that their in-house list saw fit to include AJ
"Freddy" Ayer but not Martin "Heigh-Ho" Heidegger.
My favourite philosophe is Rockin' Ren� Descartes, but I'm not
about to start exhibiting opinions on the greatest EVAR. (Actually,
to hell with it: I'll have Karl "The Spectre" Marx, please. And that
he probably wasn't a "philosophe" sricto sensu we consider an
asset.)
[Permalink]
2005-05-26 13:12
I have a problem, and the problem I have is this: I know very little
mathematics beyond what I did at school and a handful of (very useful)
tricks I picked up on my MSc.
This means that it is not usually worth me worrying my pretty little
head about exactly why I'm doing something, since I wouldn't
understand. But when I do worry my pretty little head about
things ideas appear in it, and sometimes they are good ideas but
sometimes they are not.
Right now is one of one of these sometimeses: using a (version of) a
technique I learned half a lifetime ago I have either done something
very clever or something completely idiotic, and the only way to find
out which is to tell my boss all about it.
In other news, cricket.
[Permalink]
2005-05-26 09:45
Per la quinta volta, for sure:
Il
Liverpool � campione d'Europa. Per la quinta volta. Nella maniera
pi� straordinaria possibile. Raggiunge il Milan, in vantaggio 3-0 dopo
i primi 45' nel secondo tempo, con un uno-due-tre micidiale, per poi
trionfare ai calci di rigore. Una Coppa gettata al vento dai rossoneri
quando gi� si rincorrevano statistiche sui 4-0 a Steaua e
Barcellona. Alla vigilia l'unico dubbio di Carlo Ancelotti riguardava
la panchina. Con un uomo da sacrificare tra Kaladze e Tomasson. Invece
il tecnico sorprende tutti, perch� in tribuna non ci finisce n� il
georgiano, n� il danese, nemmeno Costacurta. Bens� Inzaghi, l'uomo che
avrebbe dovuto vivere il suo momento di gloria in corsa.
When you walk
Through a storm
Hold your heeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaadddddddddd up higgggggggggghhhhhhh
And don't beeeeeeeee afraiiiiiid of the daark
(Et cetera.)
If anyone wants us, we've gone for a walk. Alone.
[Permalink]
2005-05-26 22:38
A jinxning
When I tuned in, at half time, Milan led three-nil (3-0) and the pundits were well into their half-time funereal orations on the theme that Milan never ever ever concede goals, especially at foopball.
Then les rouges miracularised triply to be in a position to cling on grimly through extra time and sneak it on penalties.
The Scousers are going to be more than usually unsufferable, and it will indeed turn out that this is possible.
Mes chers bleus, shut them up next season and shut them up good, pretty please.
2005-05-25 16:35
�1. A large fish!
A very
large catfish!
�2. A prinsess in a bonnet!
A silly
bonnet!
It is the Kronprinsessmary of Danmark, who now has an entry in Den
Blaa Bok, which is too posh even to be spelled properly, that's how
posh it is.
�3. Good grief.
Aftonbladet reviews
William S Burroughs. But not just any old William S Burroughs - it is
the cut-up trilogy of The Soft Machine,
Nova Express and The Ticket that Exploded.
I think it is the Ticket that Exploded that was my first
exposure to Burroughs at a tender age. God bless public libraries and
their consummate indifference to the hands into which mind-altering
avant-nutter gaysnuffpr0n bogglement falls or at least fell!
Word falling - Image falling!
[Permalink]
2005-05-25 14:13
They'll stop terrorisme! (They won't.)
They'll stop gazillions of pounds of benefit fraud (Most
benefit fraud is the result of false declarations, not false ID.)
- They'll stop
identity theft.
Christ, I hate these people.
ID cards are the outward and visible
manifestation of a project to create a centralised ID-number, to which
all records held by government agencies and many by private
organisations will be linked.
It is industrialised stalkning, and we hope you feel much the safer
for it, Blighty. However, a children of five (5) could predict -
quite correctly - that mandating a centralised single point of failure
for identity security isn't so much idiotic as utterly perverse: it's
not so much a chocolate teapot as a paraffin-soaked fireguard.
Blair and his chums are in it for the stalknings. That's the only
thing it will deliver (albeit erratically - God bless, for once, the
record of Government IT projects) and it's the only thing he ever
wanted even if, as per bleeding U, he's given every bastard reason
except the truth.
[Permalink]
2005-05-25 12:17
Aftonbladet has thoughtfully assembled a collection of
uppchattning lines for your convenience, dont:
�r det jag som �r full, eller �r du verkligen s� h�r snygg?
Am I drunk or are you really that pretty?
Also, from the book that inspired the
article some toe-curling wretchedness, but also the jolly:
Urs�kta, jag har tappat mitt telefonnummer - kan jag f� ditt?
Excuse me, I've lost my telephonenumber - kan I have yours?
(We're not kidding about teh wretched, Swedish readers, really we're
not. You have been warned.)
[Permalink]
2005-05-25 10:20
A: No, it's completely armless!
It is kronprinsess Vickan! In just such a frock!
M�nga �verraskades n�r Victoria g�stade p� Polar Music Prize i
m�ndags.
I �rml�st visade hon upp sina v�ltr�nade armar.
Many were surprised when Vickan made a guest appearance at the Polar
Music Prize last Monday.
In a sleeveless frock she showed off her well-trained arms.
This, the pointing out of which is by no means neglected, is what
comes of shacking up with a bloke who runs a gym.
[Permalink]
2005-05-24 15:22
- Foopball (tomorrow): The final and finale of the League of
Champions! (We are pretending to be neutral.)
- Cricket (Thursday): Engerlund take on the mighty Bangles in the
first Proper Cricket of the summer. We're looking forward to this,
for sure. (Test Match Special on Radio Hampstead on 198m longwave, of
course, and possibly also the Interweb.)
- A nice Bank Holiday (Monday) when we're helping our little sister
move house.
- The French Referendum (29 May). Say � Oui �, foolish froggy
persons!
- The Dutch Referendum (1st June). Say "Ja", foolish cloggy
persons!
- Italy (10 June). We need to have some stuff sorted before then,
though.
- A pretend exam (20 June). Hilariously, this is also the day we
fly back from Italy and we do not anticipate studying much while we're
there.
- Decent weather (no scheduled date). C'mon weather, play nice!
This is a lot of somethings!
[Permalink]
2005-05-24 12:55
On free movement of labour in the EU! And for bonus points, let's
have
it in Swedish! Johnny Munkhammar, lay down a neo-liberal vibe, if
you would:
Kollektiva avtal bygger p� att fackf�reningarna fungerar som
karteller f�r arbetskraft, som h�ller priserna uppe genom att hindra
konkurrens.
The basis for collective agreements is that unions act as a cartel for
labour, which keeps prices up through restricting competition.
Which is to say (as he does later) that the unions' opposition to
imported labour is simple protectionism, which it is, and that is bad.
Hans Tilly, union spokesperson for the building union, sees things
unsurprisingly differently:
Vi ser att h�gern vinner i lobbningskampen fram till EG-domstolen. Och
h�gern har som m�l att f� oss tillbaka till b�rjan av 1900-talet. Som
arbetstagare ska vi inte l�ngre ha r�tten att f�rhandla med
arbetsgivaren.
We expect that the right will win the lobbying battle in the European
Court. And the right has a goal to take us back to the beginning of
the 20th century. As workers we will no longer have the right to
negociate with employers.
Much of the debate in France about the EU constitution has been
successfully framed by the "Non" camp in terms of protecting French
jobs. We don't like this very much, since we are by no means keen on
nationalisms, but it is not false that the free movement of labour
will be disruptive in the short term, and the neo-liberals have
(largely on principle) no constructive suggestions for managing the
pain or for exactly what form their glorious new dawn will take.
[Permalink]
2005-05-24 09:57
�1. Bastille day, Shmastille day
The 14th of July is Vickan's birthday
Den 14 juli fyller kronprinsessan Victoria 28 �r. F�delsedagsfirandet
�ger traditionsenligt rum p� idrottsplatsen i Borgholm.
On 14 July the kronprinsess Victoria will be 28. Birthday
celebrations are traditionally located at the athleticsplace in
Borgholm.
There's a boyband scheduled this year, if you like that sort of thing.
�2. Sigh.
There's a prinsess Madeleine feature in Aftonbladet's Plus section,
but we are no longer a subscriber thereof or to.
�3. You didn't hear it from me, right?
Wife: Have
you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much
spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has
it?
So we're doing Weber and Foucault and fammlies (oh my!) and we
consider four (4) theories: a fairly Burkean conservatisme and three
(3) sorts of feminisme: Marxiste, radical and liberal.
So I had bacon Marx feminisme and feminisme.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love
it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam
spam spam and spam!
Does anyone want some leftover feminisme, by the way?
[Permalink]
2005-05-23 16:20
If you're a lifestyle journaliste, at
least.
A Norfolk shop selling second world war-era clothes
is all the rage, Enid Blyton names are back in favour, and this summer
millions of people who would never have dreamed of holidaying in
Britain a decade ago will head for England's newly fashionable
seaside. Whatever happened to the great English inferiority complex?
Andy Beckett investigates.
That's "all the rage" as a boutique serving meeja hipsters, and
"millions" my hairy white arse. Lifestyle journalisme is wretched at
best, of course, but it becomes even more deeply unfunny if you are
accustomed to writing social science essays which are expected to
provide evidence, I can assure you. Anyway, the "explanation":
Rave culture and Britpop, the regeneration of museums and urban
centres, the arrival of new restaurants serving self-consciously
English food - the first of them, St John, opened in 1994 - had all
begun to erode the notion that anything English was automatically
embarrassing. At the same time, the sheer availability of foreign
pleasures - EasyJet began flying abroad from British airports in 1996
- was creating the conditions, given the English aptitude for class
distinction and one-upmanship, for a counter-reaction. "The English
middle class discovered abroad and then the English proletariat
discovered abroad," says [Jonathan] Meades [hamster-faced restaurant
critic and bloviator about town], "so the English middle class had to
have something else."
Sigh. It's not even a swallow, really, more of the rumour of a
swallow. Outside of the Groucho Club, or wherever London's achingly
hip congregate these days, this trend isn't even a rumour. It simply
doesn't exist.
[Permalink]
2005-05-23 11:46
�1. Think of it not so much as losing a spokesman
as of gaining a
zombie spokesman:
"We lose today more than a philosopher," said French Prime Minister
Jean-Pierre Raffarin.
"The entire European humanist tradition is mourning one of its most
talented spokesmen."
But of course, you will object, it will be hard to disguise his
zombiehood at a lavish state funeral! Quite right:
He left strict instructions that only friends and family should attend
his funeral.
�2. Good Lord!
It is Wikipedia
on Eurovision '05.
That is simply frightening.
�3. My other phone number is in Liechtenstein
One Roam sells Riiing mobile SIMs in
the UK, which provide flat-rate roaming across Yoorp, at 0.39
EUR/minute (to land lines).
Plus you get a jolly Liechtensteinian phone number all of your own!
[Permalink]
2005-05-23 10:02
It is Martin Stenmarck, Swedish competitor, after his
thwartning:
F�rlusten i schlager-EM kn�ckte Martin Stenmarck.
Men n�r s�ngaren kom hem i g�r v�ntade en glad �verraskning: 3 600
mejl fr�n Aftonbladets l�sare.
Defeat in the Yurovizhn broke Martin Stenmarck.
But when the singer came home yesterday there was a happy surprise:
3,600 emails from Aftonbladet's readers.
Well, hoorah!
- 3 600? Det h�r �r helt fantastiskt, vilken grej att komma hem
till. Jag t�nker l�sa dem allihop, det kan jag lova. Tusen tack!
3,600? That's fantastic, what a something to come home to. I'll read
each and every one of them, I promise. A thousand thanks!
You'd better read them all, Martin Stenmarck: there'll be a test.
We demand, incidentally, that as of now unsuccessful British
competitors also make abject tearful apologies to the nation.
[Permalink]
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