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2006-03-03 13:41

Being not-Cherman

In the Netherlands, the semiformal status of engagement to be married is largely in disuse - persons simply content themselves with an "understanding", until the time comes to make everything officially official. This is because the Dutch are of course very informal and relaxed about stuff and other stuff.

If you do want to make things officially official, however, and one (1) of the said you has foolishly neglected to be Dutch, you will need: a birth certificate and a certificate of no impediment, both legalised ("apostilled") in Blighty, which such legalisation ("apostillation") is only valid for one (1) calendar month for Dutch purposes.

So far so fair enough, at least until the EU does the sort of thing the EU is supposed to do and streamlines the mutual acceptability of its members' many documents, but the usage that there is of these such documents is to acquire the status (which we have acquired, of course - nothing second-hand for this 'bladet) of ondertrouw. This is partly the booking of the wedding, but is also partly a formal legal status in its own right, and is entirely acquired by appointment (10:00-16:30 only, both parties to be present at the municipal offices with full documentations and about EUR 600).

And of course if any of the witnesses (of which there must be either one (1) on each side or two (2) on each side) should have aggrevated the negligence to be Dutch copies of their passports will also be required.

But the Netherlands, of course, is very unlike Chermany. When all the paperwork is in order, they give you an ondertrouwcertificate decorated with jolly colour pictures of balloons.

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2006-03-03 11:08

Fu�ball und bier, yum yum!

It is the Foopball Worldcup!

England football fans heading to Germany for the World Cup are getting free language classes. So are they conjugating verbs?

"Meine Hobbys sind: Fussball sehen, Bier trinken und schlafen."

[...] The Goethe Institute in London is teaching fans heading to the summer's World Cup a basic grasp of the language.

The Beeboid has gone with "Lieblingmannschaft" for "favourite team", but this skronked our very considerable Sprachgef�hl so hard that we put it up against the vastly preferable "Lieblingsmannschaft" in a Google Fight, and our candidate stormed home with 81,200 votes to 200. (They also can't decide between "Schiri" and "Shiri" for "ref" in a sidebar. What was that about the British and their hilarious langwidgeskills again?)

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2006-03-02 16:15

Three (3) things you may not have known about Amersfoort

� Thing the first

It is at Amersfoort, not at Zwolle, that we change treins when we change treins on the way from Schip-Schip-Schiphol to Zweetieville. It would be a big help if we could remember that too, not least to our Zweetie's emergency travel advisory service.

� Thing the second

The concierged pay-toilets at Amersfoort station shut at 19:00. After which you can use the disabled ones, in the unlikely event that you can find them.

� Thing the third

It may soon host Europe's largest indoor tennis stadium.

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2006-03-02 14:02

Motto

A discussion on rec.travel.yoorp mentioned the excellent Italian proverb "Il servo attacca l'asino dove vuole il padrone" ("The servant puts the donkey where the boss wants it").

This is a sentiment we are rediscovering an application for, as our many tutors at the University of Openness express their many opinions about the most appropriate way to send assignments through the post. They all have rationalisations for their personal quirks, but neither we nor the donkey feel equal to the challenge of assessing their coherence. Eeyorrrr!

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2006-03-02 09:56

Sm�rg�spost

�1. Pussycats

Pussy-cat pussy-cat, where have you been?
"I've been to London to look at the queen."
Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, what did you there?
"I started sneezing to give them a scare."

[Apologies to Mother Goose]

Naughty pussycat!

Au nom du principe de pr�caution, le gouvernement fran�ais a demand� mercredi aux propri�taires de chats de la r�gion de la Dombes, o� des volailles et des oiseaux sauvages sont morts du virus H5N1 de la grippe aviaire, de ne pas laisser leurs f�lins domestiques se promener � l'ext�rieur.

In the name of the principle of pr�caution, the French gouvernment on Wednesday asked cat owners from the r�gion of la Dombes, where volailles and wild birds have died of the birdfluvirus H5N1, not to allow their many pet cats to go outside.

�2. Sun city!

It is ancient Egypt in the news again:

Archaeologists announced [on] Sunday that they have discovered an ancient sun temple containing large statues of the pharaoh Ramses II under an outdoor marketplace in Cairo, Egypt.

The temple was found in a suburb of Cairo called Ain Shams. The site was once part of the ancient city of Heliopolis, which served as the center of sun worship in ancient Egypt. The chief sun god, Re, was the patron sun god of Heliopolis.

"Heliopolis", though? Is it that the 'Gyptians spoke Greek or that the name is slightly anachronistique or what?

�3. You could start by calling them "Roma", Mr so-called "Pope"

It is our biscuitless friends at the Vatican:

The Vatican began a campaign [on] Tuesday to attract Gypsies to Catholicism and away from Protestant groups, urging Catholic priests and others to help Gypsies in their difficult, everyday lives so that they could win their trust and evangelize them.

(We're not a sub-editor at the Intergalactic NYT Scrapbook-Tribune, but we'd be curious to know what the comma's supposed to be for in "difficult, everyday lives".)

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2006-03-01 16:20

Bonus singalong post!

I know an old chicken who swallowed a flu,
I don't know why she swallowed the flu,
I guess we're doomed.

I know an old cat who swallowed a bird,
How absurd to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird who swallowed the flu,
I don't know why she swallowed the flu,
I guess we're doomed.

[[src]

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2006-03-01 15:44

Sm�rg�spost

�1. Honkety-honkety-honkball!

It is Robert Eenhoorn and the Dutchy-Dutch Honkballsquad!

Netherlands manager Robert Een(1)hoorn understands that the inaugural World Baseball Classic will be the premiere showcase for his country's fledgling baseball program.

With that in mind, the former big leaguer decided that it would be best to have his squad leave the frigid Holland winter behind and pack its bags for a two-week pre-tournament training camp in Florida.

Is it that honkball ("base-ball") has the property that ice-hockey does that the FDR's native team is actually more or less completely useless once shorn of its foreign imports?

Nederland's first match is a week today, honkball fans, and you can get live broadband coverage of the whole tournament for $9.99, if you're deranged enough not to care that "live" means and is limited to meaning exactly what it says and that the timezones involved are by no means convenient for a Yoorpean audience.

�2. A conversation

As I was heading for the Supermarkt at lunchtime I passed a canvasseuse who asked "Are you a member of Greanpeece?".
"No", I replied, on the grounds that I am not.
"Well I think you should be", she said.
By this time I was past her, so I had to twist more than somewhat round to say, "I don't".

We certainly hope she was just being random because we were wearing our boring black coat and were more than usually clean-shaven, and we would not like to think we could readily be mistaken for a dirty, smelly hippie in such a condition. Greanpeece, indeed. Bah!

�3. Farewell silly Gal�cticos!

It is Real Madrid, whose excellent policy of buying the world's most expensive foopball players but never winning any trophies may have reached its use-by date:

Florentino Perez was like an indulgent parent finally admitting he had spoilt his children when he announced his resignation as Real Madrid president on Monday.

[...]

Perez had been responsible for the "Galactico" policy of signing the world's best attacking players during his six-year tenure at the Bernebeu.

Bah! We for one were still enjoying the policy, albeit not as much as Bar�a fans must 've been.

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2006-03-01 13:58

Chaos ? Mais, non !

It is but a perturbation of ze circulation of ze traffique:

La neige qui est tomb�e abondammant dans la nuit sur la Belgique a caus� des embarras de circulation et de nombreux accidents sur le r�seau routier de plusieurs provinces wallonnes et dans le Brabant flamand.

The sn� which fell abundantly in the night on Belgium has caused embarrassments of circulation and of numerous accidents on the traffic routes in Glorious Walloonia and possibly elsewhere.

We can't get any fresh sneeuwchaos stories from the Nederland either. Come on, persons!

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2006-03-01 10:57

Mmmm, sossages!

Otto von Bismarck may or may not have said at least one of the following:

Je weniger die Leute dar�ber wissen, wie W�rste und Gesetze gemacht werden, desto besser schlafen sie nachts.

Wer wei�, wie Gesetze und W�rste zustande kommen, der kann nachts nicht mehr ruhig schlafen.

(Wikipedia is too cool for sources, of course.)

The Engleeshings we've seen attributed to him are less excellent, so we will volunteer, "He who knows how laws and sossages are made can no longer sleep peacefully."

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2006-02-28 16:00

The first Test starts tomorrow at 04:30 UTC!

But EnglandandWales's cricket tour of India has got off to a fairly wretched start, with the captain having flown home with a knee injury, the second in line also home for a fambly crisis, Jones the Ball off sick again as per all too usual, poor lad, and two (2) untried spinners and one (1) that's been tried and found wanting.

And Sir Frederick Flintoff will be making his debut as captain, as well.

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2006-02-28 13:06

Sm�rg�spost

�1. Fat Day

It is Fatday!

La ville de Binche s'est r�veill�e sous quelques rares flocons de neige mais fid�le au rendez-vous, le Gille, figure embl�matique de la Cit� m�di�vale, a rev�tu son habit de folklore pour battre le pav� en ce dernier Jour Gras.

It is smelly old Binche in Belgium and their glorious history and cultual on this Fat Day!

�2. Codify me harder!

It is Gordon Brown, Tony Blair's annointed successor and constitutional reform wonk:

More widely he enthuses about a recommendation from the Power commission in which a written "concordat" between Parliament and the executive is established. Such a concordat would allow MPs to hold ministers more rigorously to account and in a context in which the powers of both were more clearly defined.

"The relationship between the executive and Parliament should be clearly defined and written down".

�3. Giant psychedelic lion!

It is Sesame Street, Jim, but not as we know it:

India is to get its own version of the children's programme, Sesame Street, complete with a giant psychedelic lion who is supposed to be descended from maharajahs and who loves bhangra music. The television show, which will be launched this summer, has been adapted for Indian children.The main action will take place in a galli - one of the narrow side streets that are choked with cycle-rickshaws, cows and market stalls.

�4. Bad Serbia! No biscuit!

It is slightly odd:

Serbia will come under intense international scrutiny today as it becomes the first nation to defend genocide charges, while separately facing censure for failing to surrender war crimes suspects.

Belgrade will be accused at the International Court of Justice of sponsoring ethnic cleansing in the 1990s which led to the worst massacres on European soil since the Second World War. Previously, only individuals have been charged with genocide, the most serious war crime.

That's all very well, except it isn't: the point of trying individuals is that you can punish them afterward - what happens to "Serbia" if it is found guilty?

We don't buy into fundamentalist Liberal (and Libertoonian) ideology on individuals as the One True Site of Agency, but they are certainly much easier to lock up.

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2006-02-28 10:23

Spring!

It is Fat Tuesday, and it is spring in Blighty.

We'd still rather be elsewhere, though.

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