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2006-03-17 16:23
It may have been sn�ing again in Bristle this morning - ridiculous but
true! - but the seedlings of Espring are battling their glorious way
through the frost, and Yurovizhn will be upon us before too long.
In Serbia and Montenegro, the selection process has become slightly
tactful:
At the competition in Belgrade on 11 March, the audience booed and
threw bottles at the stage when [Montenegran band] No Name were
declared the winners.
The group were forced to leave the stage without performing a reprise
of their song, and Serbian runners-up Flamingos sang instead.
The stand-off continues.
Happilier, Hoteyes has the songs
for preview, and hoorah hoorah for that! We're voting for Finland
this year, for sure, and we haven't even heard any of the songs yet!
[Permalink]
2006-03-17 14:40
�1. So, you vant to be Cherman?
It
is of course the celebrated Hessian test, of which most ridicule
has for some reason been in Cherman:
GERMANS have reacted sceptically to a proposed citizenship test
revealed this week that would ask candidates to name three
philosophers, name the doctor who found a cure for cholera and
identify a Nobel laureate.
Like many echte Chermans, we'd fail this comfortably, except for the
philosophers. (Bergson, Merleau-("My little")-Ponty and Bergson,
since you ask, and yes I can have Bergson twice or you'll get an
earful on the metaphysics of identity and don't think you won't.)
�2. Always wibble wibble wibble, eh, Mr Blair?
It is the moment Blair finally declared himself unfit to govern:
Mr Blair is planning to deliver a speech next week to justify the
war, and answer the deep misgivings within his own party at the
continued occupation of Iraq. Although there was never any evidence
to link Saddam to the attack on the Twin Towers in New York on 9/11,
Mr Blair yesterday said he would be linking the war which toppled
Saddam with the global battle against terrorism.
Asked by journalists whether he would do it all again, Mr Blair
unhesitatingly replied: "I most certainly would."
We look forward to his retirement very much, for sure.
�3. Our brain hurts
We must have had a bad peanut in the pup last night or something.
[Permalink]
2006-03-17 10:40
It
is the "World" Baseball "Classic", the FDR's Mickey-Mouse
competition for "national" teams! And the FDR itself has been
eliminated:
Even with Roger Clemens starting perhaps the last game of his
illustrious career, one of the greatest assemblages of U.S.-born
players ever bowed to archrival Mexico, 2-1, in the final game of the
second round and was eliminated from the tournament.
Instead Japan, which lost a scintillating one-run game to its
archrival Korea on Wednesday night, joins Korea, Cuba and the
Dominican Republic at San Diego's PETCO Park for the semifinals on
Saturday.
We're particularly glad that Cuba is still in, although we're
supporting Chapan ourself.
[Permalink]
2006-03-16 15:06
�1. Belgium, man! Belgium!
It is the treins:
Avec 91,9 % des trains arrivant � l'heure ou avec moins de 5 minutes
de retard, le r�seau ferroviaire belge est l'un des plus ponctuels
d'Europe, juste derri�re le Luxembourg.
With 91.9% of trains arriving on time or less than 5 minutes late, the
Belgian trainnetwork is one of the most punctual in Europe, just
behind Luxembourg.
�2. Binnenland, buitenland, in my lady's chamber
What's up with this "binnenland/buitenland" thing (essentially,
Domestic and Abroadian)? It is the Intergalactic and the Economiste
which are the only two (2) bladets we know that don't admit to a
Heimat, which is the way we like it, and both nonetheless show very
clearly when they let their hairs down that they are firmly rooted in
the FDR. (The Economiste pretends not to be, we concede, but it is.)
�3. An enormous
fisch!
We do so like our enormous fishies!
[Permalink]
2006-03-16 13:50
It is the
Netherlands, where we will be emigrating in a bit:
Homofile som kysser og en toppl�s dame som kommer opp av sj�en. Det
skal de som �nsker � immigrere til Nederland se p� video dersom de
�nsker � komme inn i landet. [...]
� ta testen koster om lag 2800 kroner, mens forberedelsespakken med
filmen, en CD-rom og et album med bilder av kjente personer fra
Nederland koster om lag 500 kroner.
Det er noen unntak fra testen. Beboere innenfor EU, asyls�kere og
fagl�rte som tjener mer enn om lag 350 000 i �ret trenger ikke � ta
den 30-minutter lange databaserte testen. S�kere fra
Amerika. Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Japan og Sveits er ogs�
unntatt, skriver AP.
PS! Den nederlandske ambassaden i Norge opplyser at de ikke har
videoen
Homosexuals kissing and a toppless laydee coming out of the sea.
That's what in a video to be shown to would-be immigrants to the
Netherlands when they want to come to the country. [...]
To take the [compulsory immigration] test costs around GBP 250, but
the preparation pack with the film, a CD-ROM and an photo-album of
famous Dutch persons costs around GBP 50.
There are some exemptions from the test. EU citizens , asylumseekers
and professionals earning more than around GBP 30,000 a year don't
have to take the 30-minute long database-based test. Applicants from
America, Australia, New Zilln, Canananada, Japan and the Switzyland
are also exempt, AP says.
PS! The Dutch embassy in Norway says it hasn't got any of the videos.
Which is slightly intriguing since Norway is not on the list of
exemptions, which by no means amount to a geographical proxy for
"white"ness since after all Japan is included. Anyway, exempt or not
exempt we want the package.
[Permalink]
2006-03-16 11:13
So in Yoorp free papers like Metro are gaining ground as paybladets
lose it. However free papers like Metro are overwhelmingly based in
cities, and distributed to no small extent at public transport
("metro", hence the name) stations. The whole point of their business
model is to not have distribution costs, since this is actually what
the cover price of the newspaper amounts to paying for - the content
is paid for by advertising.
So what happens to the peasants in the provinces when the glorious
future comes?
It already pisses us off that the Intergalactic Scrapbook-Tribune runs
an advert saying you can have it delivered if you live in the UK and
then explaining in the small print that "the UK", for Intergalactic
purposes, means inside the M25 London orbital autobahn. And that the
Financial Times will deliver to the same area plus Oxbridge.
[Permalink]
2006-03-15 15:34
�1. Langwidge is the horizon of our world, and Danish is the cloud on it
It
is Danish childrens and the Danish langwidge, which they don't get
either:
Danskan sv�r att f�rst� - f�r danska barn
Danish is hard to understand - for Danish childrens
They start speaking later in Danmark, and who can blame them?
Gratuitous prinsessmaterial included!
�2. Defaecation, Sherlock? Certainly not!
It
is Danmark again:
FN's Komit� mod Racediskrimination har afgjort, at Danmark overtr�dte
FN's konvention om racediskrimination da politiet afviste en
anmeldelse af Pia Kj�rsgaard.
The UN's committee on Racialdiscrimination has decided that Danmark
breached the UN's convention on racialdiscrimination when politicians
refused or declined to investigate Pia Kj�rsgaard.
That's Ekstrabladet cribbing from Jyllands-Posten, irony fans.
�3. Continental drinknings
It
is not exactly as you might have heard:
Young people from Seville to Bilbao, from Madrid and Barcelona to Vigo
and Santiago de Compostela, plan to take over the centres of more than
15 cities on Friday night in an unprecedented nationwide drinking
contest.
It is the latest, and by far the most ambitious, example of el
botellon - or "big bottle" - when underage drinkers laden with plastic
bags of bottles of spirits and cola take over town centres for an
all-night drinking session.
�4. The post-news 'bladet
But we are young, we've gone green
We've got teeth nice and clean
See out friends, see the sights
Feel alright!
"Alright", Supergrass
It is the new NRC.Next - the evening paper's morning paper for the
money-rich (but stingy) time-poor (but idly curious) mover and shaker
of today!
Tell us about their shoes, editor-in-chief Hans Nijenhuis, for we
yearn to know!
"Money is not the issue," he said. "These are people who on a Saturday
afternoon buy shoes for 250 euros on a whim. At the same time, they
are shopping on the Internet for the cheapest airline tickets."
That's nothing! We sometimes buy shoes, book airline tickets, refresh
our RSS feeds, undermine the foundations of western society and feed
the cat at teh same time, and we hardly ever even buy shoes at all!
Dance to our tune, Hans Nijenhuis - if you dare!
[Permalink]
2006-03-15 11:34
It is Bev�lkerungswissenschaftler Prof. Herwig Birg
Experten warnen: Wir Deutschen sterben aus, in kaum mehr als 12
Generationen!
Experts warn: We Chermans out die in kaum more than 12 Generations!
(What you mean "we", Kimosabische?)
Anyway, the usual extrapolation nonsenses aside,
Im Schnitt bekommen deutsche Paare gerade mal 1,38 Kinder. Nur
�sterreich, Italien, Spanien und Griechenland schneiden noch
schlechter ab.
On average Cherman couples have 1.38 childrens. Only �stria, Italian,
Espain and Greeceland schneiden now worse ab.
We are of course an old-fashioned social democrat, so we wonder if
this can be shown to correlate with a world where wimmins are
expected to hold down a day job while a lack of state support for
childcare means that working wimmins can't fit children into their busy lives.
(The FDR doesn't fit the Yoorpean pattern, but we are not very
interested in the FDR and its many Harvard-educated stay-at-home
mothers hothousing their wretched progeny in the bogo-traditional way
or manner.)
[Permalink]
2006-03-15 09:51
It
is the Central Park penguinpair Roy and Silo, who have now gone
their separate ways, and the history of their relationship in the best
of all possible 'bladets. It's a shame Slavering Slavoj doesn't do
qveerteori, though.
[Permalink]
2006-03-14 16:40
It is Denis Dutton!
He is a philosophe, which is jolly, and something of an Edge-head and
(therefore) something of an evopsycho:
Just as we acquired a liking for sweet and fatty foods in the
Pleistocene and earlier, we acquired aesthetic interests. These cover
such diverse areas as landscape preferences, the persistent themes of
love and death in stories and literature, and ideals of female
beauty. It's fascinating and provocative material.
Needless to say, he's also a fierce Freud-wuz-wrong'er - there's no
one as gullible, as GK Chesterton used to delight in pointing out, as
a hardened sceptic.
[Permalink]
2006-03-14 15:55
Pride, like a lion
It is the vexed question of whether we are proud to be Zwedish. We
are, as it happens, not, and we're in good company:
Svenskar bland de minst patriotiska
Zwedishes among the least patriotic
Of course some might point to the fact that we are technically not, in
fact, Zwedish, but then how do you explain our joy and delight at
being Belgian, which we are also technically not.
[Permalink]
2006-03-14 11:39
It is is
the Beeb's 2001 entry in the Least Promising Opening to a Story Filed under
"Sci/Tech"!
The choice of font used in e-mails and type-written letters could say
more about an individual's personality than their creative writing
skills.
Graphology - the art of studying handwriting - has been used for
centuries to try to analyse people's characters, but since the demise
of personal handwriting, the experts have moved on to typefaces to
look for clues to our identities.
Do you think it improves, Varied Reader? You think, if so, wrong:
The Psychology of Fonts, commissioned by Lexmark Printers and
written by psychologist Dr Aric Sigman explains how a typeface will
significantly influence what the reader thinks about you.
Courier is seen as the choice of "sensible shoes" type of people or
"anoraks" and curvy icons like Georgia or Shelly suggest a bit of a
"rock chick" personality.
We are now officially depressed, and not just because the idea that
fonts are used in emails was apparently established in minds of the
chronically stupid in 2001, although we concede that that doesn't help.
[Permalink]
2006-03-14 10:02
It is
Kayseri in Turkey!
Restaurants rarely serve alcohol, unmarried men and women
don't mix on the streets, and there is little in the way of nightlife.
Yet the new entrepreneurialism sweeping across the province is
providing an unlikely catalyst for a remarkable religious
transformation.
We love that "yet", for sure. (Does anyone study the rhetorical
manoeuverings of the popular press? We know that there was a moronic
school of sub-Derridean weirditude, but AFAWK they were mostly
lexically oriented and completely useless.)
A new form of Turkish Islam is emerging here, one
which is pro-business and pro-free market, and it's being called
Islamic Calvinism.
One of the first to use this description was the former mayor of
Kayseri, Sukru Karatepe. A softly-spoken man who taught sociology
before entering politics, Karatape noticed striking similarities
between the changes in Kayseri and the famous thesis of the German
economist Max Weber, who argued that the strong work ethic of the
Protestant movement gave birth to modern capitalism.
Cherman "economiste", Beeboid? Harsh!
[Permalink]
2006-03-13 15:32
-
�1. Globollocks, education style
It is China and India. Apparently we're going to "compete" with
them on education, which ought to be interesting. (No, no one has or
will ever read Krugman and/or realise that there is no zero-sum game
being played out in the economics of inter-nations. This is sad, but
what can you do?)
Les pays europ�ens doivent-ils r�volutionner leurs syst�mes �ducatifs
? C'est ce que conclut une �tude r�alis�e par Andreas Schleicher, du
d�partement de l'�ducation de l'Organisation de coop�ration et
d�veloppement �conomiques (OCDE), pour le compte du Lisbon Council,
laboratoire d'id�es bruxellois.
A better reason for improving European education systems is that they
aren't very good and could be made considerably better, but maybe the
Lisbon council is playing a smarter game by imagineering up the
spectacle of the Chinese and Indian brains basking in Yoorps ancient
and glorious gravy, who knows?
�2. Snowfall disruption?
Nngggh!
Anyone looking for the first signs of spring in northern Britain found
themselves plunged back into mid-winter yesterday with heavy snowfalls
causing widespread disruption.
�3. Snow havoc?
Mmmmmmfphhhhhhh!
Thousands stranded as snow wreaks havoc
�4. Snekaos!
Phew!
HSV vandt trods snekaos
Hamburger SV won despite sn�kaos
Thanks, Danmark, we needed that!
�5. Today foopball, tomorrow the international warcrimes tribunal
It
is the FDR:
Today, rednecks watch American football while middle-class,
dope-smoking, French-cheese-eating anti-war-activists watch European
football on cable and wear Barca shirts in bed. This, explains Foer,
is why "people with actual power believe that soccer represents a
genuine threat to the American way of life". Football is a global
phenomenon, played with the same rules wherever you go, decided
mutually by an international organisation. Much like the UN, in other
words. Or the WTO. Or any of the other busybodies which threaten the
hegemony of a superpower. To "American exceptionalists" who believe
that the US is above all rules and beyond all laws, a global game like
football is obviously just an insidious way of imposing international
laws on the Land of the Free.
That's nice. (Have you ever been spotted attempting to back away slowly from a newsbladet, Varied Reader? Embarrassing, isn't it?)
[Permalink]
2006-03-13 11:45
�1. Well done, kronprinsess!
It is
kronprinsess Vickan of Zweden standing on a something while a
soldaatje gives her flowers. Why, you ask or enquire? It was her name
day! And what's that, you pursue or upfollow? Well, days are
allocated (non-uniquely) to each of the sensible Zwedish names and
when it is your name day everyone is very pleased that you have such
an excellent name.
It is all very ridiculous, and by no means comparable to the
accomplishment of having been born on a particular calendar
day, celebrations of which such even the Dutch have very sensibly
refined to a high level. The flowers were tulips,
of course, no doubt to acknowledge this fact.
�2. Sigh.
It
is the most breathlessly gloopy fluff article on an exercise
craze we can remember seeing in a nominally grown-up newsbladet:
Budokon, the Hollywood-endorsed health and fitness craze sweeping
across the United States, is poised to take hold in Britain.
The discipline - a fusion of yoga, martial arts and meditation - is
inspired by the centuries-old training systems of Buddhist
monks. Essentially, it offers an emotional, physical and spiritual
work out.
The founder is alleged to be a black belt in taekwondo and karate,
neither of which was previously known to us as especially Buddhiste.
But if you take "inspired by" as "nothing to do with, except for
marketing purposes" then fair enough. But where oh where is the
Indybladet's cognitive immune system?
�3. About time too!
It
is Turkisch f�r Beginners, as now being seen on Cherman TV.
Wer Dienstag ins Vorabendprogramm der ARD zappt, wird anf�nglich
denken, er sei bei einem t�rkischen Sender gelandet. "T�rkisch f�r
Anf�nger" hei�t die neue Serie, die dienstags bis freitags jeweils um
18.50 Uhr zu sehen sein wird.
Who Tuesday in the Earlyeveningprogramme of ARD zaps, becomes
anf�nglich thoughts that they by a Turkish channel have
ge-endedupon. "Turkisch for beginners" is called the new series that
Tuesdays to Fridays jeweils on 18:50 hundred hours to see is
become.
We can't wait for Tuesday, although since we don't have a TV and we
aren't in range of ARD broadcasts this isn't especially why.
[Permalink]
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