2003-06-20 18:42

Harry Potter preview, in French

My copy has been despatched by a team of amazons, hurrah, but over at le nouvel obs there's a link to an extract in French. Maybe this is via the New York Trashbladet leakage, it doesn't say, but it reads plausibly enough. It doesn't give anything away, really, and in any case you certainly didn't hear it from me, right?

(Even so, getting even this little sneakage is like sneaking out for a jolly old midnight feast, oh what fun.)

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2003-06-20 14:06 (UTC+1)

It was a good toss to lose, then.

This young and inexperienced England cricket team is shaping up to be a whole lot better than most of its predecessors. Those of you which suffer from Forrinness will not have decades worth of emotional scars caused by the selectors sticking with tried-and-found-wanting players for years and years while promising young players are expected to master the nuances of mediocrity in county second elevens.

Ever since a foreign Supremo has been appointed, and an Australian-style Academy established to groom young talent, it's been starting to look as though England may actually be in danger of becoming competitive:

WICKET! Mohammad Sami b Anderson 0 (185 all out) He's done it! Anderson has taken the first one-day hat-trick by an England bowler! Sensational. His third wicket comes with a yorker that borders on a full-toss but is far too good for Sami. Anderson has 4 for 27 and England will need 186 to win.

Of course, the Pakistani team is young and inexperienced too, and this is just knockabout one-day stuff, and England will surely now give a textbook demonstration of the Art of the Middle-Order Batting Collapse, but just now the sun is shining, young Mr Anderson's offences against hair styling are forgiven and all is well with the world (apart from the things that aren't). Hoorah!

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2003-06-20 10:34 (UTC+1)

Lustiga att se

Last year, in the interests of ethnography, Special Agent Birgitte infiltrated , at not inconsiderable risk to her own safety, a Swedish midsummer ceremony. (Linkage has been sabotaged by the pan-Scandewegian enthusiasm for the use of frames to pessimise the browsing experience. Click on the "midsummer party" links, including the pictures if you dare...) Here's an extract from her report, dealing with the infamous Frog Dance ritual:

Efter middagen skulle vi s� danse rundt om majstangen. Nu kom �velserne tidligere p� dagen os til gode, vi var jo n�rmest professionelle! Glade afsang vi "Sm� grodorna, sm� grodorna, �r lustige at se. Ej �ron, ej �ron, ej svanser hava de..." alt imens vi gjorde de tilh�rende bev�gelser. Denne dans er nok det mest ejendommelige ved den svenske midsommerfejring. Alle danser rundt om den korsformede majstang, mens de hopper som fr�er. Det er vanskeligt at forestille sig, hvad der kan v�re oprindelsen til denne skik, omend den tydeligvis er forbundet med danske juletraditioner (dansen om tr�et). Hvordan tr�et er blevet forvansket til et kors, og sangen og dansen til en fr�-sangleg er det sv�rt at gisne om. Det forekommer dog rimeligt at antage, at de store m�ngder 'snaps' der indtages inden udf�relsen af ritualet har haft en vis indflydelse p� udformningen af ritualet...

[After dinner we were obliged to danse around the maypole. Now the practice earlier in the day stood us in good stead - we were almost professional. We cheerfully sang "Sm� grodorna, sm� grodorna, �r lustige [sic] at [sic] se. Ej �ron, ej �ron, ej svanser hava de..." while doing the corresponding actions. This dance is probably the most peculiar part of the the Swedish midsummer celebrations. Everyone dances around the cross-shaped may pole, while hopping like frogs. It is difficult to conceive what the origin of this custom might be, although it christma evidently analogous to the Danish Twinkletree traditions of dancing on the table. Why the tree has been replaced by a cross, and the song and dance to a single kernel fragment is hard to imagine. It seems reasonable to assume, however, that the ritual has been substantially influenced by the large quantities of 'snaps' consumed while performing it.]

Because of course the Danish julfrokost by contrast is celebrated for the sober dignity with which it is always conducted, ho ho.

Further evidence of the uncanny hold that the Frog Song has on the Swedish imagination comes from this article whereby a Franco-Swedish dual-citizen in France was obliged to demonstrate Commitment To Swedish Identity by singing it. (No extract, sorry - all that Danish has worn out my translation muscles.) For reference, Aftonbladet helpfully includes the full text of the Eldritch Incantation:

Sm� grodorna, sm� grodorna �r lustiga att se.
Sm� grodorna, sm� grodorna �r lustiga att se.

Ej �ron, ej �ron, ej svansar hava de.
Ej �ron, ej �ron, ej svansar hava de.

Kou-ack-ack-ack, kou-ack-ack-ack,
kou-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack.
Kou-ack-ack-ack, kou-ack-ack-ack,
kou-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack

[Small frogs, small frogs, are funny to see.
Small frogs, small frogs, are funny to see.

No ears, no ears, no tails have they.
No ears, no ears, no tails have they.

Kou-ack-ack-ack, kou-ack-ack-ack,
kou-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack.
Kou-ack-ack-ack, kou-ack-ack-ack,
kou-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack]

This mp3 will allow you to experience the full horror of the song, if you dare. (Snaps not included, but strongly recommended for anaesthetic purposes. A��eee! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Grodorna R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.)

[Editors note: The manuscript trails off here. Herr von Bladet was found wandering the streets in a state of mental disturbance which has not since abated. We provide this, his last coherent writing, in the hope that it will dissuade others from following his footsteps.]

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2003-06-19 14:35 (UTC+1)

French Harry Potter translator doesn't actually speak or anything.

But gets discussed nonetheless, hos BBC.

Monsieur [Jean-Francois] Menard is France's Harry Potter supremo. Translator of the first four volumes of the series, he is the man responsible for such coinages as "Poudlard" - for Hogwarts - "Moldus" - for Muggles - and "Nick-Quasi-Sans-Tete" - for Nearly Headless Nick.

Working at the rate of 10 pages a day, he will complete the French version of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in about 90 working days.

Assuming he has the odd weekend off, that will take him through to mid-October, which allows just six weeks for proof-reading, publication and distribution before French launch day on 3 December.

Oh, l� l�! At ten pages a day it's perhaps no wonder the French versions get slightly streamlined compared to the Swedish ones (which won't be translated till February, remember).

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2003-06-19 11:47

Maxima's Monarchical Motherhood Mission

[tipoff via Maus, tack!]

Exhibiting behaviour vastly more becoming in a prinsess, the Dutch kronprinsess Maxima has announced that she is pregnant. The child will of course be second in line to the throne after Her Royal Husband Wossname.

Since online Dutch newspapers are pathologically hostile, I'll settle for just the front page of the Telegraaf.

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2003-06-19 10:12 (UTC+1)

Madde's misdemeanour

There's been a bit of a shortage of them lately, but this prinsess story is right up our alley:

Prinsessan Madeleine missade sju skyltar som talade om att gatan hon k�rde p� var en g�gata. Hon k�rde n�ra 300 meter innan hon parkerade utanf�r en aff�r. D�rinne stannade prinsessan i ungef�r tio minuter. Straffet f�r brottet �r normalt 600 kronor i b�ter.

[Prinsessan Madeleine missed seven signs which said that she was driving the wrong way down a one-way street. She drove about 300 metres before parking outside a shop. She went in for about 10 minutes. The penalty for this offence is normally 600 kronor (about 60 euros).]

Agonised debate about Moral Responsibilities ensue, but there is also a photo.

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2003-06-18 10:38 (UTC+1)

"Life, eh? Discuss."

The French Bacc�laureate is the Big Deal end-of-school qualification, needed for University entrance there. It comes in flavours, of course, but this is of course France so all flavours will involve an encounter with the dreaded philosophy paper (of course!):

Les L (litt�raire) ont eu � choisir entre �Le bonheur est affaire priv�e?�, �L'id�e d'une libert� totale a-t-elle un sens� ou d'expliquer un texte de Thomas Hobbes tir� du Leviathan.

Les S (scientifique) ont pu plancher sur �La v�rit� depend-telle de nous?�, �Prendre conscience de soi est-ce devenir �tranger � soi?� ou l'explication d'un texte de Kant tir� de �M�taphysique des moeurs�.

Les s�ries �conomiques et sociales (ES) pouvaient choisir de disserter sur �Le dialogue est-il le chemin de la v�rit�?�, ou �Pourquoi sommes-nous sensibles � la beaut�?� ou expliquer un texte de Schopenhauer tir� du �monde comme volont� et comme repr�sentation�.

[The literary stream had to choose between "Is happiness a private matter?", "Is the idea of total liberty meaningful?" or explaining a text of Thomas Hobbes from Leviathan

The scientific stream could pick from "Does truth depend on us?", "Does self-consciousness imply a separation from self?" or explaining an extract from Kant's Metaphysics of Morals.

The economics and social sciences stream could discuss "Is dialogue the way to truth?" or "Why are we sensitive to beauty?" or explication of an extract from Schopenhauer's "The World as Will and as Represenation."]

The answers, provided as a service to our faithful 'bladeteers, are: "No", "Maybe", "Yes", "Yes and no", "Yes" and "Because". (Extracts weren't provided, or I'd've explained those, too.)

For bonus points, would you rather sit the French exam or Bluejoh's paper? Why?

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2003-06-18 09:36 (UTC+1)

Ich bin ein Hauptachsentransformation

Or more likely not. But either way, I am now the owner of Mssrs Courant and Hilbert's classic Methoden der Mathematischen Physik. All I have to do now is learn German and read it, and then I'll know a whole bunch of stuff. (I don't have to learn very much German, I shouldn't think - "Lineare Transformationen mit linearem Parameter" isn't exactly impenetrable.)

Slightly annoyingly, or perhaps endearingly characterfully, the two volumes of my set are completely different in appearance - the titles on the spine goes upward on one volume and down on the other.

[Looks closer.] Ah. The second volume came out 1937, and the author's preface (by Courant - Hilbert had nothing to do with the published text) closes "New Rochelle, New York, 24. Oktober 1937," while the first volume says "G�ttingen, am 11. Februar 1924". More in Germany changed between those dates than fashions in book production, I would imagine.

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2003-06-17 14:33 (UTC)

I am magnificently unworldly (i.e., completely useless)

Apparently a pay-rise I had forgotten about (in the UK public sector pay reviews are performance related in the sense that persons who are neither dead nor dismissed are automatically worthy of them, modest though they most certainly are) did not get processed, so now I am getting a back-dated pay-rise, hoorah!

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2003-06-17 09:45 (UTC+1)

Bumbling baboons and other primates.

Scientific American has a special edition out now on paleoanthropology. It's actually pretty annoying, because it consists of a collection of mutually opposed polemics, in the inimitably kludged up prose of scientists pretending to engage with a popular audience. (None of them actually are.) The interludes by pure journalists are if anything even more annoying, since they are obliged to avoid taking a position on any of the contentious issues, which is all of the issues. Even so, if you're at all interested in the subject you'll have to hold your nose, grit your teeth and plod through the bloody thing.

Vastly more rewarding is this baboon article, via Matt, whose ass we are not worthy to slash:

When baboons hunt together they'd love to get as much meat as possible, but they're not very good at it. The baboon is a much more successful hunter when he hunts by himself than when he hunts in a group because they screw up every time they're in a group. Say three of them are running as fast as possible after a gazelle, and they're gaining on it, and they're deadly. But something goes on in one of their minds - I'm anthropomorphizing here - and he says to himself, "What am I doing here? I have no idea whatsoever, but I'm running as fast as possible, and this guy is running as fast as possible right behind me, and we had one hell of a fight about three months ago. I don't quite know why we're running so fast right now, but I'd better just stop and slash him in the face before he gets me." The baboon suddenly stops and turns around, and they go rolling over each other like Keystone cops and the gazelle is long gone because the baboons just became disinhibited. They get crazed around each other at every juncture.

Also, the primatology of primatologists (Chomsky vs. Skinner, ook ook!), how chimpanzees invented genocide, and some guileless reflections on the role of the frontal cortex in implementing morality for game-theoretical advantages in the Great Zero-Sum Game of Life.

And now, we close of course with the celebrated William S Burroughs Baboon Quote Ceremony:

Dilapidated Disease in 1920 clothes like she sleep in them ever since undulates across dreary neonlighted Chicago street... dead weight of the Dear Dead Days hanging in the air like an earth-bound ghost. Disease: (canned heat tenor). "Find the weakest baboon."

Frontier saloon: Fag Baboon dressed in little girl blue dress sings in resigned voice to tune of Alice Blue Gown: "I'm the weakest baboon of them all."

Word falling - image falling, isn't it?

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2003-06-16 14:35

Norden: One big happy family

If you're down with the Frenchy-French, don't miss this one. Lib�ration does the ferries of Greater Scando-Baltiwegia:

The crossings between Sweden and Finland are really quite chic - people dress up once on board - while the less-expensive Helsinki-Tallinn crossings draw a more down-to-earth clientele. Among themselves Finnish sailors call the latter "tuulipukukansaa": track-suit tourists. They claim that the rustling of track-suit trousers is a sure sign of the Finnish arrivals. Antti, a young Finn encountered on the way to Tallinn, acknowledges that "In the summer, the journeysa to Tallinn are even quicker. You can spend more time on shore where the alcohol is even cheaper."

It takes a certain dedication to start drinking first thing in the morning, but the Finns are up to the task; they're not the sort to make a fuss over such minor irritations. On board, four old Finnish guys have already finished their Lapin Kulta ("Lappland Gold"), the Finnish national beer. "Our wives are in Turku," they announce with sparkling eyes, "What are we up to till Saturday? Drinking and fucking!" On Sunday mornings in Tallinn you can sometimes see freshly disembarked, but heavily drunk, groups of Finns wandering in search of an open restaurant. Only to discover that at that time in the morning everything is shut. So they grumble a bit, but soon console themselves with the rations wisely purchased on board. The Estonians call them "vodka tourists" or, more mischievously, "our four-legged friends."

There's more to it than that, of course, and the net result has been to reawaken my enthusiasm for actually going to Baltiwegia: I really am very fond of boats. A Stockholm to Helsinki to Tallinn trip would be triffic, if I could just lay my hands on a substantial wodge of cash.

While I'm in public-service mode, spreading joy and fraternal conviviality among the hardy mountain folk of the North, I had occasion to purchase this week's Economist for its Nordic survey. (The rest of the mag persuaded me that there will be no need to buy it again in the near future - they continue to believe in the infallibility of Mr Bush.) For your convenience, I shall quote the entertaining bit:

One reason why Norwegians may want to consider EU membership anew is the price of food, which thanks to huge tariffs on some imported foodstuffs is one third higher than Sweden. Meat in Norway is so expensive that before Christmas families traditionally drive to Sweden to buy festive supplies of pork ribs and steaks. Because of limits on the amounts of meat each person can import, children (known as fleskunger, or bacon kids) are crammed into the back of cars to make the trip worthwhile.

Funny chaps, foreigners, isn't it?

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2003-06-16 12:06 (UTC+1)

H�ll inte andan, ungar!

Swedish Harry Potter translator speaks:

Lena Fries-Gedin has translated all four Harry Potter books and is now waiting for the fifth.
There'll be no holidays for Lena Fries-Gedin. When the book comes out in English she'll take home the manuscript. She's expecting to be busy with the Swedish translation up to February or March next year.
Are you curious about the new book?
- Isn't everyone?
Aren't you tired of translating Harry Potter?
- It's a major undertaking, of course, but they're good books. It's a fun job.
- But I do sometimes ask myself if she has to write such thick books, says Lena Fries-Gedin and laughs.

(From now on I'm not always going to quote the original text of linked articles in Forrin.) Why can't they learn English, like everyone else? Or at least get their parents to read them the English version in SimulTrans mode. Hours of fun for all the family! (Except the kids, and the parents.)

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