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2004-06-18 15:38

All we hear is Radio Hotdog

Cory Doctorow goes and tells Microsoft why Digital Rights Management is stupid, wrong and doomed. Along the way:

Today we hear ebook publishers tell each other and anyone who'll listen that the barrier to ebooks is screen resolution. It's bollocks, and so is the whole sermonette about how nice a book looks on your bookcase and how nice it smells and how easy it is to slip into the tub. These are obvious and untrue things, like the idea that radio will catch on once they figure out how to sell you hotdogs during the intermission, or that movies will really hit their stride when we can figure out how to bring the actors out for an encore when the film's run out. Or that what the Protestant Reformation really needs is Luther Bibles with facsimile illumination in the margin and a rent-a-priest to read aloud from your personal Word of God.

There is much righteousness in the whole thing, all of which you should read.

(via th' Timber)

[NB: The guestbladet is down, you will observe. I miss it terribly when that happens, for sure.]

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2004-06-18 11:49

In praise of the Council of Yoorp

In particular, its Framework for langwidge learning, which harmonises attainment across languages and countries and education systems, which were previously a considerable barrier in langwidge teaching markets. (How many Forreners know what an old UKish GCE 'O'-level is worth in their local currency?)

Having tested myself on a TISUS flavoured test, I have been estimated to be at about B1+ in Swedish, which is a nice upper-intermediate level (e.g., reading simple newspaper articles) and now I can shop around and around (this is a big list of resources for the distance learnee, not all of which are courses although some are not only courses but free online courses, hoorah!) and around for distance courses to match.

But there seems to be a bit of a gap in the market for the B1+ to C range, which is where I need to get to: the TISUS test, which is for matriculation to Swedish universities, is the only qualification in the langwidge worth having so far as I can see, and I covet it desperately, but I'm a way away from it still.

[Distancelearninglinkage via Birgitte, tack!]

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2004-06-18 morning (utc+1)

�l priskrig!

Priskrig means "price war", and is thus the best possible Norwegish word to put next to �l.

- Vi mener at 12 kroner er en fornuftig pris p� merke�l. Det er viktig at ogs� dette �let finner sin plass i prisbildet, sa innkj�pssjef i Rema-systemet Harald Kalv�y til VG klokken 17.58. Fra og med i dag selger han Ringnes pilsner, Dahls, Lysholmer, Nordlandspils, Arendalspils og Carlsberg til 12 kroner for en 0,33 liters flaske. I g�r m�tte du betale mellom en og to kroner mer for samme �l.

"We say that 12 kroner [0.94 GBP] is a reasonable price for brandname �l. It's important that that �l also finds its place in the price picture", says Harald Kalv�y, head of purchasing for Rema's alcohol section to VG at 17:58 hundred hours. From and including today he's selling Ringnes pilsner, Dahls, Lysholmer, Nordlandspils, Arendalspils and Carlsberg at 12 kroner for a 33 cl bottle. Yesterday you'd have paid a kroner or two more for the EXACT SAME �L!

So that's 2.84 GBP per litre. Now, the Economiste's Big Mac index [Svedish link] is all very well, if you're a bloated junk-food-munching whale-person, but at this 'bladet the international commodity of reference is in fact and of course �l.

And as it happens, yesterday I received my first delivery of Internet mediated grocery shopping (I am so very decadent!) from Tesco. This included a set of their celebrated beer capsules: "premium" (but unbranded) French lager in 24 little (25 cl) bottles.

At 8.44 GBP this works out at 1.41 GBP per litre, about half the Norwegish price. (I'd put Tesco's Premium No-Name �l up against any Norwegish �l for quality, personally.) Is it just the strong pound, or is Norway really getting cheaper?

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2004-06-17 16:56

Strawberries

It is cold in Sweden! The mighty Smultron is cold! When Smultron is cold, his strawberries do not ripen! Fear Smultron, faithless Swedishes, and feel his wrath!

L�nge s�g det ut att bli gott om svenska jordgubbar till midsommar. Men den senaste tidens envisa sommarkyla g�r att b�ren mognar l�ngsammare.
- Det kan bli brist till midsommar, hotar odlaren Calle Ericsson p� S�by g�rd i Kolb�ck i V�stmanland.

In the long run it looks good for Swedish strawberries for midsommar. But the recent cold spell has meant that the strawberries are ripening slowly.
There could be a shortage for midsommar, warns or threatens Calle Ericsson at S�by farm in Kolb�ck in V�stmanland.

You blame the weather, Swedishes, but perhaps Smultron's anger has other causes.

Vid sidan av frilandsodling satsar alltfler p� odling i v�xthus eller tunnlar av plast. Det ger en l�ngre s�song och chans till dubbla sk�rdar i s�dra Sverige.

Besides cultivation on open land more and more cultivatio takes place in green houses or plastic tunnel. This gives a longer season and the chance of doubling harvests in southern Sweden.

Is it wise to trifle with Smultron's cherised strawberries in this way or manner, Swedishes? If there is indeed brist till midsommar will you still blame the weather?

I warn or threaten you, Sweden: Smultron has no taste for the confined spaces of greenhouses or plastic tunnels.

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2004-06-17 samwidge (utc+1)

My cup overfloweth, although not necessarily with tact

Leave off of our Svennis, Murdochian muckrackers! Note that this is a Norwegish article on the subject - the Nordic Brotherhood hunts pretty much as a pack in foopball, although I'm looking forward to the Denmarklund v. Swederlund game. (Not in the sense of knowing when it will be or anything, just slightly anticipatorially frissoned.)

Sven-G�ran Eriksson f�r s� �ra flagrer i den vanligvis seri�se avisen The Times: �Eriksson var en vaskeekte, 24 karats, 100 prosents idiot mot Frankrike�.

The Murdoch Times is a "usually seri�se newspaper" in much the same way that I am engaged to be married to kronprinsess Victoria of Sweden. Learn this, Foreign Persons, learn it well, and please learn it soon!

Meanwhile, Aftonbladet's Sportbladet takes time out from its busy schedule to pat itself on the back:

Hur st�r sig Sportbladet j�mf�rt med de �vriga stora europeiska drakarna under EM? Vi har unders�kt: Bara franska L'Equipe har fler sidor varje dag. K�p tidningen med den b�sta EM-bevakningen i Sverige - varje dag!

How does Sportbladet stack up against the other big Yoorpean dragons during the Yoorpean cup? We've done a survey: Only Frenchy-French L'�quipe has more pages every day. Buy the newspaper with the best Euro-2004 coverage in Sweden - every day!

I wonder if the Swederlund supporters would settle for "pretty good, but not as good as the French" as their motto for the tourn�e, also?

I did go back to buy myself some nice Swedish merchandise. Guess if they ship outside Sverige? Oh, you guessed.

Just for that, I have appointed L'�quipebladet official purveyeurs of foopballing insight for the tournament. (I think I can even buy the dead tree edition if I want, which I don't - it's only foopball.)

Anyway, it's a big night for the lads tonight up against the mighty Croats, and I have taunts to work on. What d'you think of � Vous ne jouez pas tr�s bien, mes amis anciennement yugloslavs !�?

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2004-06-17 morning (utc+1)

Yes, but is that authentic authenticity?

Pizza! Perhaps second only to �l as the sacredest of ingestibles, isn't it? You will surely recall our coverage of the Neapolitan pizza puristes' pizza preparation propriety proposal.

In the wake of this, the Norwegish tabloid VG has put some twos together with some other twos, it would appear, and is less than fully satisfied with the quality of the resulting fours.

It would appear that Norwegish pizza company Stabburet - there is no more authentically 'Wegian food than the mighty pizza - have been boasting that their new �La Mia Pizzeria�-pizza is �approved by The Federation of Italian pizzabakers�. On their very packaging!

Den italienske organisasjonen Stabburet samarbeider med, heter �Associazione Pizzaioli e Similari�(APES), som p� norsk betyr �Foreningen for pizzabakere og lignende�. Men Stabburet har gitt organisasjonen et mer h�ytidelig navn, og omtaler den alts� i reklamen som �Det italienske pizzabakerlauget�.

If�lge APES' egne hjemmesider holder foreningen kurs for pizzakokker og jobber for � fremme italiensk pizzakultur. Men s� langt VG kjenner til, st�r det ikke ett ord p� hjemmesidene om at foreningen driver med pizzagodkjenningsvirksomhet.

Det er derimot den anerkjente organisasjonen �Associazione della Vera Pizza Napoletana� som har f�tt tillatelse av italienske myndigheter til � godkjenne pizzarestauranter som lager pizza i tr�d med strenge, italienske tradisjoner.

The italian organisation Stabburet collaborates with is called the �Associazione Pizzaioli e Similari�(APES), which in Norwegish means �Foreningen for pizzabakere og lignende� [Englishing either is left as an exercise - DvB]. But Stabburet has given the organisation a more impressive name and refers to them in the advert as �The Federation of Italian Pizzabakers�.

According to APES's own website, the association holds courses for pizza makers and works to advance Italian pizza culture. But so far a VG knows, there isn't a word on the website that the organisation operates a pizza-approval-enterprise.

There is however an acknowledged organisation �Associazione della Vera Pizza Napoletana� which has received permission from the Italian authorities to approve pizza restaurants which make pizza in line with strict, Italian traditions.

I'm exhausted from all that Norwegish so I can't summon all the analytical rigour this so richly deserves. Briefly, Stabburet has awarded itself (more or less) an award as a marketing device, although their marketroid-in-chief makes a fair case that the collaboration with their Italian chums was in good faith and improved their pizzas.

The Neapolitan heavy mob that VG has cottoned on too (and which we featured in our previous story) has pushed through guidelines for approval for Neapolitan pizza, and their claim that this is the most authentically authentic pizza that there is is one that comes with a side order of (very authentic) vested interests.

Quis custodiet, which is to say and let's face it you knew it was coming, ipsos custodes?

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2004-06-16 allez! (utc+1)

Pourquoi je suis si � allez les bleus �!

Stephen "Seething" Wells is covering the foopball from the FDRUSA, as you do, which doesn't show up in the following:

Last night's Sky Sports News had shown the usual fat, drunk and utterly unlovable England fans singing "If it wasn't for the English you'd be Krauts". At some Croats. And the Croats were smiling and shouting back. And looking a little confused. Were they, I wondered, attempting to discuss with the English some of the finer points of mid-20th Century history (with particular reference to east European geography, the role of the Red Army and the Yalta conference of 1945)?

<column author="Toynbee, Polly">
The UK was once a world leader in xenophobic abuse, but a lack of investment in infrastructure and education has left us a laughing stock in a geopolitically transformed Yoorp.

We desperately need government intervention to devise and propagate more up-to-date taunts. Is it really too much to hope that next time England participate in a major international tournament with Croatia our fans will be informed enough to shout "If it wasn't for NATO airstrikes you'd be Serbs!"?
</column>

But so far the jolly Engleesh merry-makers are of the common-or-garden drunken rioter variety, rather than proper hooligans, and they are therefore easily kept in check by mounted officers and riot police:

"There were about 300 of them. They were singing, and some of them were racist to some black people who were there. At around 2am they began throwing bottles and glasses into the road. They were also throwing tables and chairs at the police. We had to use horses and dogs to bring the situation under control, and we had to order the closure of other bars in the area and evacuate the people from them." [said Captain Manuel Jorge of the Portuguese police].

Welcome to En-ger-lund, Captain Manuel Jorge!

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2004-06-16 15:10

No pressure, mind

Pitter-patter pitter-patter pitter-patter. We're not bothering you, are we kronprinsess Knudella of Denmark? It is the occasion of the off-showing of the extensive giftage to which the Kronprins Couple were subjected by their subjects and otherwise:

De glade givere er overbevist om, at Mary og Frederik snart f�r sm�b�rn. Der er smukt barnestrik i hvidt, og fotoalbum til barnets f�rste �r. Bliver det en pige, kan hun gl�de sig til et meterlangt kunstv�rk, rigt dekoreret med Barbie-dukket�j.

The happy givers are convinced that Knudella and Kronprinsfred will soon have small childrens. There is beautiful baby-knitning in white, and fotoalbums for the bebis's first year. Becomes it a girl, can she glad herself with a metre long artwork richly decorated with Barbie toy clothes.

From fairy-tale prinsess to heir-cosy, how short a step it is.

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2004-06-16 samwidge (utc+1)

It isn't easy being a prinsess!

Poor old kronprinsess Vickan of Sweden! First, of course, there is the endless round of banquets and wednings and baby-dipnings, with the attendent befrockning and - which is especially draining - all those hats:

Kronprinsessan har ett h�rt pressat schema bakom sig, d�r hon knappt varit hemma en enda helg. Hon har varit p� sl�kttr�ff i Mai-nau, p� br�llop i Danmark, Jordanien, Spanien och p� flera dop.

The kronprinsess has had a gruelling timetable, where she's hardly been home a single weekend. She's been meeting relatives in Mai-nau(?), attended weddings in Danmark, Jordan, and Spain as well as a severality of baby-dipnings.

(Isn't sl�kttr�ff, "meeting relatives" a fabulous word?)

But as if that's not enough, Expressen is sticking to its story that the king and Vickan's daddy - who are one and the same! - doesn't hold with her bestly belov�d. It allegedly turns out that he's allegedly an uncultured oaf:

Kungen har ocks� klagat �ver att pojkv�nnen inte kan f�ra sig i de fina salongerna, att han inte kan prata engelska och inte n�mna namnet p� en nutida svensk f�rfattare.

The king has also expressed concern that the boyfriend can't conduct himself in fine salongs, that he doesn't speak the Engleesh, and can't name any modern Swedish authors.

(Not even Henning "Hilarity" Mankell? The mind boggles...)

Now, I can't actually name any modern Swedish authors of yer actual fiction, but I don't imagine that will last very long once I get within range of its many fascinations, and I certainly speak something at least as close to Engleesh as most Scandiwegians manage. (If I had a GBP for every Forrener who'd condescended to my "non-native" Engleesh, I'd've spent it all on beer and quite right too.) So even if I'm not that great at salongs, I'm still clearly ahead of Wassname. Hmm...

Take note, fellow suitors! It is apparently not the kronprinsess we need to win over - the power behind the throne in this case is in fact on the throne.

("Ah, there you are Vickan."
"What ho, Your Daddiness!"
"Have you met the Count von Bladet, dear; he's very well informed about contemporary Swedish literature, and his Engleesh really isn't that bad. Count, this is my daughter, the kronprinsess Vickan."
"How d'you do, Count von Bladet?"
"Delighted, your prinsessship."
"Oh, and you're marrying him next June."
"What?! But..."
"Yes, I know, but it turns out there is a weekend free after all; auntie Hilde has just died, so the strawberry seasonstart sl�kttr�ff is off, of course.")

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2004-06-16 morning (utc+1)

Why I am so brilliant orange

After World War II, football took the place of nationalism - and not only in the Netherlands. "Wars were not fought anymore, they were played out on the football field. In 1974 everyone thought the Dutch, who had invented a new kind of football, would win. But it was the Germans who won, so the young generation was confronted again with a Germany who defeated Holland. The Dutch youth could now easily identify with their parents, who had experienced the defeat of 1940. They made this connection."

-- Brilliant Orange: The Neurotic Genius of Dutch Football, David Winner, p. 107

(The interpolated quote is from Hermann van der Dunk, "one of the leading historians of Dutch-German relations".)

This formula becomes highly significant when we recall that Freud considered that two traumas (and not one, as is so commonly said) are necessary in order to generate the individual myth in which a neurosis consists.

-- Claude L�vi-Strauss, "The Structural Study of Myth", in Structural Anthropology vol. I

By the 1980s Holland's five day defeat in 1940 and the five years of occupation that followed were firmly established as defining experiences of modern Dutch history. The events were taught extensively in schools and appeared as a constant theme in the media. This helped shape a new generation of self-righteously and openly anti-German Dutch youngsters.

Brilliant Orange, p. 107

Glossary:

'football' - foopball
'nationalism' - nationalisme
'Holland' - the Netherlands

Bonus: How you can be so brilliant orange, too!

It's a very good book on the post-war Netherlands and Dutch society in general, but I don't expect to read it again. If you want my copy mailed to you at my expense, drop me a line. Note that precedent shows that more than one person may enter this exciting contest, so there is a quite real chance you won't win, sorry.

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2004-06-15 16:43

Lats 'ave a go!

There are Czechia supporters out there, for sure, but I'll be rooting for the red, white and red* of Latvia (�Lettonie�) in tonight's foopball encounter. My unwavering support will possibly stretch even as far as having the radio on, although it may not. It won't stretch to bacon and grey peas, because I haven't found anywhere that'll sell me the requisite peas of greyness and Staburags don't deliver out here, which is only sane. Perhaps I should acquire some �l which is at least not Czech and toast them from my genuine Rigan non-souvenir glass.

Meanwhile, although I have sort-of sworn off non-'Wegian languages in preparation for next month's trippage, you just can't beat L'�quipe's coverages. In the langwidge of Descartes, even foopball commentary can sustain a spirit of rational enquiry such as to fool the casual observeur at least:

Equipe inattendue, la Lettonie ne doit pas faire de complexes si elle veut se donner un espoir de finir dans les deux premiers. La chance de passer est toutefois infime au vu des adversaires du groupe. C'est donc a priori rel�ch�s et sans pression que les Lettons vont aborder cette rencontre o� ils joueront avant tout pour ne pas perdre.

The surprise qualifiers, Latvia must not have ze complexes if she wants to give 'erself a hope to finish in the first two. The chance of getting through is however weaker in view of the adversaries in the group. It is thus a priori relaxed and without pressure that the Lats will begin this meeting where they will be playing above all not to lose.

I'd better translate that again into Proper Engleesh Foopball, isn't it?

Yeah, obviously the Lats are the surprise package in the tournament, and it'll be a big ask for them to go through from what's a very tough group. Tonight they'll be starting very much as the underdogs so they can maybe relax a bit and just focus on not giving anything away.

I wonder if Radio Foopball has any vacancies for a cosmpolitain-en-r�sidence? Foopball fans are celebrated above all for their unquenchable thirst for culture and sophistication, isn't it?

* The colours of their flag and their kit: Maillot rouge, short blanc, bas rouges. Very fetching, I'm sure.

[UPDATE: What do you mean it's on now? Oh, well. Heads Germany, tails Nederlands...

UPDATE TWO (2): Gutted. We've led 1-0 for most of the match, only to go down 2-1 in the closing stages. Now I know what it feels like to be an En-ger-lund supporter. Apart from the bit about supporting En-ger-lund, obviously.]

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2004-06-15 samwidge (utc+1)

Tact sommar special!

�1. Tactball!

Neil Clark auto-Godwinates for a spectacular opening to his otherwise dreary "foopballers today, with their sponserships and their yobbery" mimblings:

The German socialist Werner Pusch once described his feelings of pity over not being able to share the belief of the excited and hysterical hordes present at one of Adolf Hitler's rallies. "For some seconds, now and again, I felt it would be wonderful just to jump into that bubbling pot to be a member of all those who are believers". As England descends into frenzy over Euro 2004, I can appreciate what must have been going through Pusch's mind. The temptation of jumping into the bubbling pot of flag-waving, England-shirt-wearing hysteria over the next month will, for many, be a strong one.

But not for me, of course. I wore my Chelsea shirt yesterday. It is blue. Allez les bleus, has a lovely ring to it, isn't it? Perhaps today I will actually order a nice Swedish shirt, because fem-noll, after all. (That's a link to a Norwegish tabloid's coverage of Swedish Aftonbladet's coverage, of course. Only the finest second-order foopball meeja here at the 'bladet, for sure!)

�2. Remembrance of tact past

Bosnia, take 2.

Zijad [Jusufovic], 38, is the first, licensed independent tour guide in Bosnia catering for the growing numbers of tourists. During the war, in the early 1990s, he worked for the Red Cross.

"I also take people to the town of Srebrenica (the scene of the worst atrocity of the war) and I organise excursions to Radovan Karadzic's house in Pale".

It wasn't very long ago, nor very far away.

�3. Yugoland!

A fun theme park from the better than the immediately above at least old days!

Despite its rather basic design a visit to Yugoland can be an emotional experience - especially late in the day when the band is in full swing and the beer barrels are running dry.

One elderly man stands out - he's wearing the 40-year-old military uniform - complete with cap - of a country that no longer exists. As he prepares to board the bus home, he straightens the medals on his chest and wipes a tear from his eye.

Sigh. The Independent Republic of Trieste and Trst, whose government in exile I occasionally comprise, doesn't even have a theme park! But do not weep for us, Varied Reader; our time will come again.

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2004-06-15 09:43

Monday Review of Stuff

We review John McCrone reviewing Gerald Edelman's latest (we are so very meta!):

However, where Edelman really falters is in trying to clear the final philosophical hurdle, the point where doubters say you may have explained brain function and the intelligent behaviour that results, yet this still does not say why brain activity has to feel like anything subjectively, why there has to be that strange inner glow of experience. Edelman resorts to a contorted version of the position known as causal supervenience. Neural states cause other neural states. Consciousness then just happens to be the way these states feel from the inside. So consciousness is not caused as such, it is a property of a physical process. Yet most will feel this is avoiding the issue rather than answering it.

Blah blah blah, isn't it? I happen to think Edelman is on the right track, and I do not hold it against his account of the underlying mechanismes of consciousness that he does not mistake it for an account of how it feels to be conscious: these are questions fully embued with duality, and by no means interchangeable. Compare and contrast:

However, where Newton really falters is in trying to clear the final philosophical hurdle, the point where doubters say you may have explained gravitational attraction and the movement of the solar system that results, yet this does not say why gravity has to feel like anything subjectively, why there has to be that strange pull of heaviness.

Edelman's ventures into philosophy are not the highlights of his enterprise, but does anyone really think that "Barking" John Searle and co. would stop their endless Ineffable Mysteries of Consciousness blathering even if we succede in building a walkin'-talkin' singin' and dancin' AI? If so, would you also like to buy the �resund bridge at a very competitive price?

I reviewed an actual book of Edelman's a while back.

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2004-06-14 16:38

Midsommar meeja meeja madness!

I've mostly stopped reading Lib�bladet - since the last round of "improved" web redesign it's been barely readable (die, webdesigners, die!) - but if you want to wallow in yesterday's heroic capitulation by En-ger-lund to les bleus touts-puissants, you can't beat their round-up of the UKish press's fair and balanced reactions.

Et l'in�vitable r�f�rence de circonstance, au sang, � la sueur et aux larmes chers � Churchill, revient sous la plume du chef des Sport du quotidien.

And the head of Sport at [the Sun] made the obligatory reference to the blood, sweat and tears dear to Churchill.

I'm reading it in Forren, head of sport at the Sun, and I laugh in your general direction! Allez les bleus, and don't spare the tabloids - I use up all my sporting patriotisme on the criquette, and don't think I don't.

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2004-06-14 samwidge (utc+1)

Midsommar Madeleine madness!

Madeleine goes to a wedding!

Madeleine i k� f�r en br�llopskyss

Madeleine goes to a wedning!

But big sis kronprinsess Vickan was on duty at the baby-dipning ov Hollands prinsessa Catharina-Amalia and couldn't make her close chums wedning. It isn't easy being a prinsess!

And did you remember Madde's birthday? Expressen did, but:

Madeleine sa ocks� att hon inte hunnit tr�ffa kungen och drottningen p� dagen.

Madde also said that she hadn't managed to see the king and queen on the day.

The king and queen are Madde's daddy and mummy! But they were busy all day holding audiences at the castle. On Madde's special day! It isn't easy, as I have pointed out before, being a prinsess!

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2004-06-14 10:29

Reassure me harder!

It is not at all worrying to see forests of car-mounted flags of St George fluttering at me everywhere I go, since this symbol has long since been reclaimed of simple-minded xenophobia and quite right too.

Equally, who could worry that the UK "Independence" Party rode the nation's instinctive euroscepticisme and disenchantment with Mr Blair to unprecendented success in the European parliamentary elections. After all this isn't some thuggish brand of raciste throwbacks; it is just the federalisme implicit in the Yoorpean union that repels them, as their manifesto makes clear:

Le Royaume-Uni est plein, clame-t-il, �a craque d�j� aux entournures. [...] Un gouvernement UKIP fera tout ce qui est n�cessaire pour r�duire la criminalit� au niveau de celle des ann�es 50.

The United Kingdom is full, it claims. It's already bursting at the seams. [...] A UKIP government would do what's necessary to reduce criminality to the level of the 50's.

This, apparently, is the acceptable face of nationalisme, although not necessarily to me.

The BBC isn't doing a Yoorp-wide overview that I can find - Yoorpean elections are of course not especially about Yoorp - so we'll rely on the EU observer despite its sophisticated redesign. (Die, web-designers, die!)

Their pie chart tells us that the EPP-ED (Yoorpean people's party) came out on top. A little research confirms that this is the Christian Democrats, i.e., the mainstream centre-right with a side order of religion, by way of an inclination to Jesus-up the constitution and a tendency to remark that Turkey is full of not quite our sort of people, don'cha know?

Sigh...

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