2002-05-03 10:19
Attacking tawdry tittle-tattle
Attacking tawdry tittle-tattle
There's a
short article in Aftonbladet
about the horror of the respectable Danish press at
Se og hör (as they call it)
offering a bounty for photographs of the Danish Crown Prince's alleged
girlfriend. This is, apparently, Not The Danish Way. It's long since
been the British way - the viciousness of our native tabloids is
rightly renowned across Europe and the sex-life of the coach of the
England football team is treated as a matter of urgent national
interest, even by the broadsheets.
While I was checking
Se og hör's
home page - purely for research purposes, you understand - I was
struck once again by the number of women displayed on it who had
carelessly neglected to wear any clothes. Somehow I get the
impression that
Se og hör (which Aftonbladet refers to as
a skvallerbladet or gossip-sheet)
is more National Enquirer than Hello!.
I also think that I want a physical copy of Se og Hör to be
sure of this and to practice Danish with. I further think
that I will never be truly happy until Desbladet has been referred to
as a skvallerbladet.
Ministry of Gossip
I wonder if I could get an EU grant to do a comparative study of
low-brow gossip rags across Europe? I'm already effectively doing a
comparative study of Svensk DAM and Point de Vue, and I'd be happy to
learn any major European language that has a glossy magazine devoted
to mindless gossip. Even German!
Besides, it's an international subject, and it calls out for an
internationally minded readership. Point de Vue, for example,
recently covered the heartbreaking story of Prince Felipe of Spain's
doomed affair with a Norwegian model. Doomed, you ask? Well, she was
considered insufficiently modest by the Spanish people; she had
modelled underwear and the dress she wore to Haakon and Mette-Marit's
wedding was judged inappropriate.
And as a bonus the biggest picture in the story was of Princess
Madeleine, as an example of the sort of girlfriend a prince
ought to select. Presumably Point de Vue's extensive market
research has discovered what Desbladet's Google search queries also
show; readers want to hear about Madeleine.
Come, let us pity the married and the unmarried
Att gifta sig är ofta en större projekt än man tro, både för brudpar
och gäster.
(Getting married is often a bigger project than one thought, both for
the bridal couple and guests).
With these ominous words begins
Aftonbladet Sunday's
- in collaboration with
elle.se - wedding guide.
It's not exactly rocket science; their tips and advice start by
observing that it might be a good idea to propose. Thanks, chaps, I'd
never have thought of that.
The best bit is when they say that you can get married anywhere so
long as you have two witnesses and a vigselförrättare. This
turns out to mean licensed marriage-starter and so I felt
compelled to dance around the room rasping in my best Prodigy
impersonation
I'm a marriage starter!
A licensed marriage starter!
[to the tune of "Firestarter", obviously].
Oh, and there's also lots of picture specials of dresses and rings and
stuff, too, if you like that sort of thing.
