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2005-07-15 14:47

He's haunting Blighty!

Gentlepersons of gender or otherwise your attention please!

The votes are counted, the results are in, and the all-time greatest philosopher of all time (according to listeneurs of Radio Hampstead's In Our Time) is the bushy-bearded Bolshevik Karl "The Spectre" Marx!

The veteran Marxist historian, Eric Hobsbawm, thinks he knows why. His reasoning is as contemporary as Marx's was visionary. "The Communist Manifesto," he says, "contains a stunning prediction of the nature and effects of globalisation."

We're planning a Museum of Things That Aren't About Globalisation, for sure. Unfortunately, we currently have no suitable exhibits.

In the public's poll, which assessed 20 philosophers, Marx, author of the Communist Manifesto and Das Kapital, got 27.93% of the 30,000 votes. In second place came David Hume with 12.67%, followed by Ludwig Wittgenstein with 6.8%. Plato trailed in fifth place and Socrates at eighth.

Eighth is still the highest place for a fictional character, since they didn't include our choice of Wiley E Coyote. (David Hume doesn't count as fictional, even if he might have disputed that).

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2005-07-15 13:09

Midnight. Not just for kids!

The killer's breed or the demon's seed,
The glamour, the fortune, the pain,
Go to war again, blood is freedom's stain,
But don't you pray for my soul anymore.
2 minutes to midnight
The hands that threaten doom.
2 minutes to midnight
To kill the unborn in the womb.

"Two (2) Minutes to Midnight", Iron Maiden

Does the Pope's lack of comment on Iron Maiden mean that he approves? We shall assume so until we see evidence to the contrary, for sure. Mosh on, you crazy Pontiff, mosh on!

But anyway:

Harry Potter fans around the world are eagerly awaiting the release of the sixth book about the boy wizard.

Bookshops in 15 countries - including the UK, US, Brazil and the Philippines - will open at 0001 BST on Saturday.

That must be great in Californ-eye-ay, asking your parents if you can stay up till after four (4) o'clock local time. Spoooooky!

Anyway, we'll be up at midnight, for pretty sure, but we have a prior engagement:

It begins to tell round midnight, midnight
I do pretty well til after sundown
Suppertime I'm feeling sad
But it really gets bad round midnight

"Round tea-time (in California)" Thelonius Sphere Monk et al.

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2005-07-15 11:44

Happy birthday, Vickan!

I'd feel so rich in a hut for two (2)
Two (2) rooms and kitchen I'm sure would do
Give me just a plot of, not a lot of land
And thou swell, thou witty, thou grand

"Thou Swell", Rogers and Hart

Vid kungens privata b�thus njuter kronprinsessan och hennes pojkv�n av sol och bad.

At the king's private boathouse the kronprinsess and her boyfried enjoy the sun and bathing.

Two rooms, a kitchen, a personal chef and a yacht. And thou swell, thou witty, thou grand. And a pony!

Not all the bits, it seems to us, of being a prinsess are as not easy as others.

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2005-07-14 15:19

Attapope!

Back when he was just plain Cardinal "Ratbag" Ratzinger, the silly Pope expressed some typically silly opinions about Harry Potteur:

P�ven Benedictus XVI varnade f�r Harry Potter-b�ckerna i ett brev han skrev under sin tid som kardinal. [...] Bland annat skriver han att b�ckerna �r en fara f�r unga l�sare och att de undergr�ver kristendomen i deras sj�lar.

Pope Benedictus XVI warned against the Harry Potter books in a letter he wrote during his time as cardinal. [...] Amongst other things he wrote that the books are a danger for young readers and that they undermine christianity in their souls.

From someone who does live-action cosplay for a day job, you'd expect a bit more understanding about fantasy worlds, isn't it?

But get with the Excommunicardus! spells already, would you?

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2005-07-14 12:45

Shhh! The porcine aviation committee is thinking!

Vair vair hard!

Europe's security body, the OSCE, is to hold a meeting in Vienna focusing on the need to respect human rights in the fight against terrorism.

Human-rights experts and government officials from member countries will be discussing how to provide security without diminishing civil liberties.

Think quickly, porcodynamicistes, while we still have some liberties left!

Forcing European companies to store phone and internet records is among anti-terror measures agreed by EU interior ministers.

UK Home Secretary Charles Clarke chaired an emergency summit on terror measures after the London bombs.

This is "just" connection data, for now. Like the ID card scam, it will have exactly no impact on terrorisme or organised crime, but so what?

Tony "Baloney" Blair, of all people, recently remarked:

Bodies set up to guard the public interest have one-way pressures. It is in their interest never to be accused of having missed a problem. So, it is a one-sided bet. They will always err on the side of caution.

It seems to be part of the DNA of regulatory bodies that they acquire their own interests and begin to grow. Max Weber famously noted the tendency of bureaucracies to tidiness.

It will never occur to him that his governments "security" agenda fits this bill better than EU regulation ever could, or that it's a more serious problem. Which is a shame.

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2005-07-14 10:32

Unhelpfully unhyphenated hippies

Bad hippies! No organic wholemeal fairtrade biscuit!

The English language edition of 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince' hits the bookstores on 16 July. The good guys are the Canadian and German publishers for printing the book on ancient forest friendly papers. Bloomsbury, the UK publisher of Harry Potter, has also made some good progress, and the Italian and Israeli editions are also expected to join the forces of good when the translations are published in the autumn.

Consider "ancient forest friendly paper". Maybe "ancient-forest-friendly" is too much to ask of the hyphen-averse Englishes, but even if it was "ancient-forest friendly paper" it would 've saved me wondering what the point of ancient paper was or why I should be interested in its friendships.

In other news, the US publishers are the environmental Bad Guys. Bet you didn't see that coming...

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2005-07-13 15:16

Total! Network! Solutions!

There is a very good reason why a small Welsh foopball club is called Total Network Solutions, but we have forgotten it. Also, we have lost the link for this quote:

Benitez avverte i suoi: �Non sottovalutiamo il Tns�. Che per� offr� il suo posto in Europa in cambio di un'amichevole. [...]

Il club inglese affronter� i gallesi del Total Network Solutions, squadra del minuscolo villaggio di Llansantffraid, per il primo turno preliminare di Champions League.

Um... buene, buene. Thing is, Liverpool foopball club, whose victory in the League of Champions we have not ceased to bitterly resent, have been gifted a slot in this year's tournament to defend their title, despite not having earned it on their domestic form. We bitterly resent this, too.

Somewhat-redemptively, though, they've been forced to start at the bottom of the heap and force their way through a succession of minnows to get into the groop stages. And we are going to be cheering and cheering and CHEERING on their many opponents every step of the way.

We don't know what colour shirts the pride of Llansantffraid play in, but allez in any case les quelqueconques !

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2005-07-13 11:44

Sm�rg�spost

�1. Let T be a throne...

Monaco's Albert II assumes throne. If it's good enough for Bertie, it's good enough for us.

�2. It isn't easy being a prinsess!

It is to be kronprinsess Vickan's birthday, and 6000 persons are turning up, and her bestly belov�d boyfriend isn't one of them.

Kronprinsessan Victoria portar sin egen pojkv�n p� f�delsedagen.
Hon vill inte att Daniel visar sig p� den stora festen i morgon.

Kronprinsess Vickan has barred her own boyfriend from her birthday.
She doesn't want Daniel to come to the big pary tomorrow.

There's all sorts of mallarkey about why, but we suspect the real reason is that she doesn't think he's ready for the Traditional Folk Dress. We, for one, will be saving the Traditional Folk Dress for after we're married. (We're old-fashioned like that, we admit.)

�3. A word for the day

Swedish: Nippertippa: a vain or silly wench. (Quoting from memory from a dictionary definition. We had our doubts that anyone would dare use the word in these enlightened times, but now we have a source.)

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2005-07-13 10:13

Why we are so ambitious

This is the list of titles and styles the Queen Mother (gawd bless 'er) had managed to accumulate by the time of her clog-poppning:

The Most High, Most Mighty and Most Excellent Princess Elizabeth, Queen Dowager and Queen Mother, Lady of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Lady of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Lady of the Imperial Order of the Crown of India, Grand Master and Dame Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order upon whom had been conferred the Royal Victorian Chain, Dame Grand Cross of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, Dame Grand Cross of the Most Venerable Order of the Hospital of St John, Relict of His Majesty King George the Sixth and Mother of Her Most Excellent Majesty Elizabeth The Second by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, Sovereign of the Most Noble Order of the Garter.

We want to live longer and die with a longer list of random junk impersonating our name. Your cooperation is appreciated.

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2005-07-12 16:02

Sm�rg�spost, slightly enervated

�1. It's that weather again.

It's past 15h00 localtime and I still haven't had my samwidge. Apparently Mathree has lastingly reset the thermotemporal configuration of my tummy, with not especially hilarious consequences.

�2. Random Harry Potter story

Some foolishperson in Kanananada sold copies early:

Men redan nu har boken s�lts av en bokhandel n�ra Vancouver i Kanada. F�r att hindra att detaljer i bokens handling l�cks har en domstol i British Columbia beslutat att spridande av bokens inneh�ll �r olagligt innan boken officiellt har kommit ut.

We're not translating that because it's too hot and it's actually already a translation of a Beeb story.

We're not committed to reading the new one on the day, for once. We've got Anna Karenininina to read, and OU stuff, and we only recently acquired the French poche of HP V. We might break down and read it soon or even sooner, since we can churn through Rowling's prose like nobody's business, but not, we think, on the day.

�3. Like sommarholidays, only with more work

Our demanding work- and essay-schedule at the University of Openness doesn't slack off over the sommar one little bit. The tutorials, on the other hand, have now finished till September.

So that'll be interesting; we'll see how the onlineconference holds up, for sure.

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2005-07-12 12:55

Sm�rg�spost

�1. Dutchcrickettriumph!

The Netherlands claimed the final qualifying place at the 2007 Cricket World Cup on Monday as they trounced the United Arab Emirates (UAE) by 145 runs in the International Cricket Council (ICC) Trophy fifth-place play-off.

They beat the Danishes in a previous round.

�2. Danishpizzauntriumph!

Copenhagen - A Danish pizzeria owner went to jail Tuesday for refusing to serve French and German tourists in protesting their countries' opposition to the U.S.-led war in Iraq.

A Danish court found Aage Bjerre guilty of discrimination and sentenced him to pay a fine of 5,000 kroner ($900 U.S.). Mr. Bjerre refused to pay, and will now serve an eight-day sentence at a minimum security prison.

�3. Englishcricketuntriumph

WICKET! G Jones c Kasprowicz b Gillespie 1 (93-6) Moronic batting from Geraint Jones, who carves a Gillespie long-hop straight to third man. And on comes Vikram Solanki as the supersub. That means one of the bowlers will miss out. My money's on Darren Gough.

We're not going to explain what a supersub is because it's new and vair vair silly. It is not, however, any excuse for the pig's ear England are making of this.

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2005-07-12 10:30

Westfalloutia

The dread treaty of Westphalia was all the rage in last night's tutorial. Our tutor was pitching it as a one monarch per state deal (without even mentioning our glorious Imperial Office). We asked, of course, exactly who was king of the United Provinces (of what is now the Netherlands) since the answer is, of course, nobody, but he thought it was the Spanish king. He is not, it is only fair to admit, billed as a historian:

The United Provinces first tried to choose their own lord, and they asked the Duke of Anjou (sovereign from 1581-1583) to rule them. Later, after the assassination of William of Orange (July 10, 1584), Henry III of France and Elizabeth I of England both declined the offer of sovereignty. However, the latter agreed to turn the United Provinces into a protectorate of England (Treaty of Nonsuch, 1585), and sent the Earl of Leicester as governor-general. This was not a success, and in 1588 the provinces became a Republic.

The Republic was officially recognized in the Peace of Westphalia (1648), and lasted until French revolutionary forces invaded in 1795 and set up a new republic, called the Batavian Republic, which would be replaced by the French-controlled Kingdom of Holland.

(We had been wondering how it derepubliced itself. We shouldn't've been, really, since the answer to almost any question about late C18/early C19 history is pretty much guaranteed to be "Napoleon".)

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2005-07-11 15:54

Prinsessbonnetskandall!

It is prinsess Madeleine of Sweden on a horse and she is wearing only a flimsy baseballcap!

N�r prinsessan Madeleine kopplar av p� �land rider hon utan hj�lm.

When prinsess Madeleine relaxes on Beerduck she rides without a helmet.

We can see it for bicycles, but surely horses are relatively stable (no pun intended)? Our many cavalry troops wear helmets, of course, but that is more down to the pikestaffs and muskets of their equally many opponents. We wouldn't hire cavalry troops that fell off their horses unprovoked, for sure.

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2005-07-11 13:48

Damn you, Westphalia!

The modern nation-state is often claimed to be a result of the Treaty of Westphalia. We don't much care for nation-states, which are hotbeds of nationalisme, so we were ill-disposed to this such silly treaty to start with. But this is an outrage!:

Another important result of the treaty was it laid rest to the idea of the Holy Roman Empire having secular dominion over the entire Christian world. The nation-state would be the highest level of government, subservient to no others.

We didn't declare ourself Holy Roman Emperor to put up with this sort of insubordination! Your insolence will be punished, nation-so-called-states!

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2005-07-11 09:56

Luxembourg to the rescue!

When you're mired in constitutional flux
And the political skies are gloomy and grey
You just need a helping hand from Lux-
embourg, to make a bright Yoorpean day!

Well done Luxembourg!

Luxembourg voters approved the European Union's proposed constitution in a referendum Sunday, a move the country's prime minister had hoped would revive the charter following its rejection in France and The Netherlands.

We are so mind-bogglingly pro-EU that we find it entirely plausible that this might work, but we wouldn't recommend trying that at home.

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