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(I know, I know, but it's the way we diarylanders have done it for generations.)

2005-12-01 16:49

If anyone asks, we're from Latveria, 'kay?

British? Us? No, we merely developed a weakness for cricket when we lived in India for a while. Britishes - especially those with imminent marriages - go to Abroad on "stag" trips, and irritate the locals more than somewhat:

Tamas Sinoros, our guide one evening, says the stag influx exploded after Hungary joined the EU last year. From two or three groups a weekend, the company he works for now handles up to 15 groups - all of them British.

"Sometimes it can be difficult," says Mr. Sinoros, who is here to smooth over misunderstandings between Brits and locals. Misunderstandings among Brits and other Brits is another matter. "You don't get so many problems between the stag groups and locals, but often the stags end up fighting each other," he says. "And then five minutes later they are all friendly and hugging each other. You don't really know what to do when they're like that."

Sigh.

In other news, we're going to Abroad for the weekend. Back Monday.

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2005-12-01 14:05

�lkrisis!

Slightly Belgian:

Les travailleurs de la brasserie Hoegaarden sont en gr�ve pour la deuxi�me journ�e cons�cutive pour protester contre le projet du groupe brassicole InBev de transf�rer la production de la "blanche" vers Jupille. Son go�t serait aussi menac�!

The workeurs of the brewery Hoegaarden are on strike for the second consecutive day to protest against the brassicole brewery InBev's plan to transfer production of the delicious whitebier to Jupille. Its taste will be also menaced!

We vigorously disapprove of this. It's time for an InBev boycott, says us. (We will still drink existing stocks of Stella Artois, of course, but we will not be adding to them.)

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2005-12-01 10:27

Sm�rg�spost

�1. The easiness of being a prinsess, its lack

It is kronprinsess Vickan and her non-nuptuation:

Victoria f�r inte gifta sig med Daniel Westling n�sta �r.
Kungen fyller 60 �r och han v�grar l�ta dottern ta uppm�rksamheten fr�n hans stora dag.

Victoria can't get married with Daniel Westling next year.
The king [who is Vickan's daddy!] is turning 60 and he refuses to let his daughter detract attention from his big day.

The nice thing about being the Holy Roman Emperor is that we can get married whenever we like, and we happen to like next year. Don't think you're invited, Carl Gustav N - you just focus on your birthday.

�2. Longrunskiing

We want a go, even if it is deplorably good for you. We like the swooshiness of skiing, without the adbject terror of the downhill kinds, to say nothing of the hoppning.

�3. Austerlitz?

Austerlitz!

Nous sommes tous Austerlitziens!

As Thierry Lentz of the Fondation Napoleon points out: Austerlitz is not just French history, it is European history. It was not just a military event but a political one.

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2005-11-30 14:50

Listen up, Yoorp!

I want an RSS feed for hoppning and I want it now.

Eurosport neglected to mention that the first two (2) rounds were held on Saturday and they don't have RSS for wintersports anyway; I can't get anything sensible from Swedish, Norwegish, German or French langwidge papers, even using Google on the latter two (2) and I am more than somewhat less than amused.

(What is it with Germany and RSS, anyway? Hello, Germany! Wakey-wakey! We don't want to read your whole stinky bladets, we just! want! hoppning!)

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2005-11-30 10:27

Why I am so very outraged

What you say!?

Ny�rsbackhoppningen i Garmisch-Partenkirchen �r Sveriges �ldsta �rligen �terkommande tv-program.
Det s�ndes f�rsta g�ngen 1959 och var d� den f�rsta direkts�ndningen av skidsport i svensk tv.
Men nu l�ggs allts� programmet ner.

The newyear's skihoppning from Garnish-Potemkintin is Sweden's oldest annual tv-programme.
It was first broadcast in 1959 and was the first direct broadcast of skiing on Swedish TV.
But now the programme is being cancelled.

How can you have new year without the hoppning?!

Backhoppningen fr�n Garmisch-Partenkirchen i kombination med Straussmusiken fr�n Wien har blivit en svensk tradition att vila ut till i tv-soffan efter ny�rsnatten.

The skihoppning from Greenish-Peppercaketin together with the Strausswaltznings from Vienna became a Swedish tradition to relax to on the TV-sofa after newyearseve.

But now hoppning-fixated Swedishes will have to sign up for Eurosport, just like we do in silly old Blighty.

(Zwedish TV, incidentally, insists that this outrageous outrage has nothing at all to do with the fact that the Zwedishes are utterly useless at skihoppning, and we believe them, don't we, Varied Reader?)

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2005-11-29 16:18

It isn't easy been a prinsess!

Even at Jultide:

N�r kungahuset firar jul f�r inte barnens respektive vara med
[...]
Bara k�rnfamiljen.
De tre kungabarnens k�rlekar �r inte v�lkomna.

When the royalhouse celebrates Twinkletree the childrens's respectives can't come.
[...]
Just the nucular family.
The three (3) royalchildrens's belov�ds aren't welcome.

It is much considerably easier being, as we are, a Holy Roman Emperor: our bestly belov�d betrothed is indeed welcome for the fammly Twinkltree or Yule. (And is rumoured, if it comes to that, to be no small part of the reason so much of the fammly is turning up for so much of Twinkletree or Yule.)

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2005-11-29 11:56

Sm�rg�spost

�1. What's that, lah-di-dah DN?

Sn�kaos i Stockholmstrafiken?

Oh dear.

�2. Ach la la!

Cherman is vair vair hip! (In France.)

D�but novembre, le magazine Elle officialisait cette mode sur territoire parisien en proposant une liste de germanismes d'avenir. Nos pr�f�r�s: un �Schnell� pour un amant d'un soir, une �Yaya� pour une fille qui dit toujours oui. �Si l'allemand devient � la mode � Paris, il finira peut-�tre par l'�tre, enfin, en Suisse francophone aussi? r�ve notre fashionista. Ce serait �berironique!�

At teh beginning of Novembuary, the magazine Elle officialised this fashion in Paris in proposing a liste of Chermanismes of the future. Our favourites: a "Schnell" for a standeur/se of one-nightedness, a "Yaya" for a girl who can't say no. "If Cherman becomes fashionable in Paris, could it finally end up so also in Francophone Switzyland?" wonders or dreams our fashionista. "That would be �berironique!"

Mais warum mitt allt this such Cherman?

Comme beaucoup de gar�ons dans le vent, � commencer par Hedi Slimane en personne, gourou chez Dior Homme, Jean-Louis G�rard passe le plus de temps possible � Berlin. Romain Titeux, du magazine musical Les Inrockuptibles, aussi: �Il y a dix ans, c'�tait Barcelone. Aujourd'hui, tout le monde veut aller � Berlin. Du coup, j'observe, qu'en France, le profil des �l�ves qui choisissent d'�tudier l'allemand est en train de changer: ce ne sont plus seulement des premiers de classe de bonne famille.� Le terrain est m�r pour un Blitzkrieg de mots allemands sur Paris.

Like many fashionable lads, starting with Hedi Slimane himself, chief guru at Dior Homme, Jean-Louis G�rard spends as much time as possible in Berlin. Romain Titeux, of the music magazine Les Inrockuptibles, too: "Ten years ago it was Barcelona. Today everyone wants to go to Berlin. Du coup, I observe that, in France, the profile the profile of students choosing to study Cherman is changing: it's no longer just the top of the class from good families." The terrain is ripe for a Blitzkrieg of Cherman words on Paris.

�3. Counterpoint: Oh no it isn't!

We can exclusively reveal that the electronic conferences for Cherman at the University of Openness are largely empty while those of French en Spanish thrive. Cherman remains securely as fashionable as herpes in Blighty, if not less so, so far as we can tell, which bothers us not at all.

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2005-11-29 09:50

Shall we Gdansk?

(Sorrie, hoor.)

Its architecture is Flemish, there are white sandy beaches near by, and it is surrounded by pristine forests and fresh lakes.

A new wave of European visitors to Gdansk is discovering an old Mittel European city which is a far cry from the brutalist legacy of the Soviet Union - which it helped to bring to its knees.

Meanwhile, we're starting an exciting new campaign to get persons to spell Mitteleurop�isch properly, just as soon as we find out how ourself. Although we may yet be still boycotting Polandland anyway, especially if they do get caught harbouring the CIA's secret prisons.

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2005-11-28 16:23

Potatical Chronologies

Which week? Frietsweek!

La "semaine de la frite" qui a �t� lanc�e officiellement � Grammont, en Flandre occidentale, s'�tend � la Wallonie. Le pays compte 5.000 friteries.

The "week of the frite" which has been officially launched at Grammont in western Flanders, is extended to Wallooooonia. The country has 5,000 friteries.

Those crazy Walloonies have refused to participate in previous Fritesweekses! (It isn't easy being a youngish federal republic, for sure, although we certainly prefer Belgium to some we could name.)

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2005-11-28 12:33

Well done, Danmark!

See everybodyelsebladets? It's not that hard, is it?

Tysk snekaos

German sn�kaos

Also, they've lit their Twinkletree on the first S�ndag of advent, which strikes us - but apparently not the Mayor of Londontown - as a fairly apt time.

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2005-11-28 09:51

Sn�teasening

There is sn� and there is kaos and the kaos that there is is as causally related to the sn� as anything can reasonably be said to be. But are the 'bladets calling it, as is only right and proper they should, sn�kaos? Not, frustratingly, quite:

Trafikkaos i hela V�steuropa efter sn�ov�der

Trafficchaos in the whole of Westernyoorp after sn�storms

Bah!

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