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2006-04-28 17:12
It is a matter of ritual hilarity that the Times ("the Times of
London") once printed the above headline. It lacks, however,
veracity, at least in the sense that the Interweb has examples of
persons seeking a specific citation, and none of persons who have
found one.
This is a great disappointment to us, but a handy edition to our pile
of evidence that just because someone "famously said" something, that
doesn't mean they said it.
(We call this Berra's law, after Yogi Berra, who famously said "I
never said most of the things I said.")
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2006-04-28 13:18
It
is Oostenrijk ("Austria")!
AUSTRIA this week unveiled "Temptress Europe" - a campaign to reawaken
Europeans to the continent's "sensuous" side, as part of its
presidency of the European Union.
Evoking the Greek god Zeus's mythical seduction of Europa, Hans
Winkler, of Austria's foreign ministry, said he hoped the campaign
would help to restore a sense of identity and joie de vivre across the
25-nation bloc.
Of course since this is Oostenrijk there is a cakey element to the
many seductions:
For those whose idea of sensuality involves dessert, organizers will
lay out a selection of European treats and their recipes to promote
what they're calling "Sweet Europe."
But more to our taste there is a mighty bladetting:
On May 9, a European newspaper will be published across Europe. In
this special edition of the widely respected Frankfurter Allgemeine
Zeitung (F.A.Z.), the newspaper's wide network of correspondents will
report from 27 countries. This newspaper for Europe Day 2006 will be
published both in German and in English. The German version also will
be available in the daily edition of the F.A.Z.
And where oh where will the Engleesh versin be available?
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2006-04-28 10:37
Pappa,
du regerar!
Daddy, you rule!
Hennes papa �r ju kungen! (Her daddy is of course the king!)
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2006-04-27 16:14
It is well-known that the Abroadians of continental Europe do not play
any form of stickball (if you don't count, as no one seems to,
Finland's mighty pes�pallo) and this leads to a great mystery:
what do the menfolk talk about when the foopball stops (as it
occasionally does) with no Other Foopball (such as the World Cup of
Inter-Nations)?
Well, based on our negligent perusal of Dutchbladets, it is various
flavours of racketball and also the mighty cycling around on bicycles,
which we quite like to watch - it is soothing and takes approximately
forever, which reminds us of cricket.
But why don't we all take up pes�pallo? After all:
Pesapallo is a European version of American Baseball. It's more brain
demanding, needs more athletic abilities and it's much faster (and
more entertaining). Pesapallo in the highest level has said to be the
most tactical game in the world with American Football. But unlike
Football and Baseball it doesn't require big muscles but _quick legs_,
_tactital eye_ and _brains_ to master the game. Anyway the main reason
why Pesapallo gives more than other games is that EVERYONE can play
it! Women and men, boys and girls, together or apart.
And the Finnish would be world champions every time it was played
among inter-nations for a decade or two (2) and you can't ignore the
comedy value of that.
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2006-04-27 14:57
It is Johnny Cash III: American Man, and we don't like it as much
as the first; it is unhelpfully contaminated with other musicians and
we slightly detest reverential American retro-folk (we hate pretty much all
of the Oh Brother where art thou? soundtrack except the
fantabulous "Big Rock Candy Mountain")
We suspect that the Norman Blake in question is the flatpicking
"legend" rather than the one from Teenage Fan Club, and we deeply wish
it had been the other way round.
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2006-04-27 11:20
Oh dear. Now, they're holding some kind of foopball nonsense in
Chermany and the American perpetrators of Budweiser "bier" have
muscled in on the act, and originally negociated an exclusive deal.
We can imagine no clearer violation of natural law than being in
Chermany and being also obliged to drink this such rancid gnat's piss,
and we are by no means alone in this such sentiment:
Local beer drinkers were in uproar over Bud's exclusive deal to supply
football grounds and related events during the month-long tournament
that starts in June.
So now Anheuser-Busch, the parent company, will allow one of the
country's most popular beers, Bitburger, to be sold in unmarked
glasses - in return for a deal to use the Bud name in Germany for the
first time.
Bitburger is known as Bit, a name ruled too close to Bud, so Budweiser
has previously had to be marketed in Germany under the unwieldy
moniker Anheuser Busch Bud.
Of course, with Cherman devoicing "Bud" will come out as "Butt", and this
is by no means other than it ought to be.
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2006-04-26 16:58
It
is those oaky chips - those perfidious, blasphemous oaky chips! -
and they are coming soon to corrupt a glorious history and cultual
near you!
Il n'y a gu�re plus de cinq ans, en effet, la Cour de cassation
confirmait dans son arr�t du 6 f�vrier 2001 que l'�levage de bordeaux
AOC avec incorporation de copeaux de ch�ne dans les cuves �tait une
"falsification". Depuis, la question est r�guli�rement pos�e de savoir
s'il vaut mieux, selon une pratique ancienne, mettre le vin dans du
bois (dans des barriques neuves) que des copeaux de ch�ne dans le vin,
symbole de la nouvelle oenologie mondialis�e.
It was only five (5) years ago, in fact, that the Court of
Blackcurranting confirmed in its something of 6 February 2001 that the
nurturing of AOC claret with oak chips added to the barrels was a
"fraud". Since the, the question has been regularly raise whether it
is be better to put follow the established practice of putting wine
in wood (in new barriques) than to put oak chips in the wine, the
hallmark of the new globalised oenologie.
Is it better to preserve the ancient and glorious French ways of our
ancient and glorious French ancestors or to spinelessly capitulate
before the degrading barbarities of globalisation? A toughie, for
sure.
Anyway, this got us to wondering just how ancient and glorious French
wine-traditions actually are. Which is to say, it got us to looking
for evidence that they were actually invented in the second-half of
the nineteenth century, like everything else. Bingo
("et voila!"):
The Bordeaux wine classification was based entirely on recent wine
prices in 1855. However, many ch�teaux now own different vineyards,
grow different grapes, and use diferent wine-making techniques than
they did when the ranking system was established. Wine critic Robert
M. Parker, Jr. says the clasification causes mediocre wine to be sold
for too much, and superior wine to be sold for too little for lack of
a ranking. As a result, the system victimizes the consumer. He says
the 1855 classifications "should be regarded by both the wine
connoisseur and the novice as informational items of historical
significance only."
We're not a novice we're a phillistine, thank you very much.
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2006-04-26 15:28
It
is David Copperfield, obsolescent illusioniste extraordinaire, and
he has cunningly foiled a muggning!
David Copperfield viste r�verne, at hans lommer var fuldst�ndig tomme,
selv om han var i besiddelse af pas, mobiltelefon og en tegnebog,
skriver The Palm Beach Post.
David Copperfield showed the robbers that his pocketses were empty,
preciousss, althought they were actually packed with pas, a
mobile phone and a collection of saucy postcards, writes The Palm
Beach Post.
The witness, you ask or enquire? None other than David Copperfield!
(Who is also writing this post while sawing himself in half while
dangling in a straightjacket above a tank of ferocious piranhas from a
crane which he will now make disappear before your very eyes, persons
of gender or otherwise, before your very eyes!)
On the other hand, we do believe he memorised the getawayvehicle
numberplate and got them promptly caught thereby, and well done him.
[Permalink]
2006-04-26 11:46
�1. Norwegish radio, its excellence
It is now equipped with direct
linkage to streams of Windows Meeja, MP3 or the Ogg Vorbis (that
mighty Vorbis of Ogg!). They even have a friendly Linux pinu�n to
greet the many dissidents from the Gatesospher, which is nice. Nota
very bene that it is mPetre that does the thumpy-thumpage - vanilla P3
is something else altogether.
�2. The riches of the Dutch langwidge
Lots of distinctions in English don't exist in Dutch: duif
means pigeon or dove, aap means monkey or ape and kussen
means pillow or cushion, and triples up as the plural of kiss. But if
you mean "mean" and you mean it in Dutch you must choose - and choose
well - between the humble "betekenen" which is something words or
signs could do, and could be translated "signify" if you were that
sort of translator or it was that sort of context, and the proud and
haughty "bedoelen" which can only be done by beings or entities
equipped or sprinkled with Barking John Searle's pixie-dust of intent
(penny a bag to you, sir or madam).
Be warned, be very warned!
�3. What we did instead of sleeping much last night
We cited the Belgian constitution in an essay we were writing for the
University of Openness. Oh, the sacrifices we make for Belgium! (The
University insolently neglected to provide even excerpts from this
such constitution in our goody-bag of samples, but we keep a copy
close at hand in case of just such an eventuality.)
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2006-04-25 16:34
�1. French word of the day
Un baladeur
is a portable music device, encompassing but not limited to the
silly-English mp3-player!
�2. Cherman word of the day
Amtsantritt ("assumption of office").
�3. Four (cases), one (1) order
It is NGDA!
Zu unterscheiden sind vier Kasusformen (F�lle): Nominativ
(1. Fall), Genitiv (2. Fall), Dativ (3. Fall), Akkusativ
(4. Fall).
We even bought a simple Cherman Cherman grammar book in the hope it
would get this right, but it gets it instead wrong. Insolent book!
Englishes always get it wrong since it is not the order they use for
the Latin they don't in any case learn in school anymore anyway.
Silly, insolent Englishes!
[Permalink]
2006-04-25 14:41
It
is the Indybladet, which breaks the unwritten rule and shows us
the bicamerality behind the curtain:
Notionally equivalent to the Speaker in the British Parliament, in
Italy the president is far more prestigious and can have a critical
impact on the work of the government.
And the importance of the election this time around is intensified by
the fact that, while Romano Prodi's centre-left coalition will have a
working majority in the Chamber of Deputies, in the Senate it will
have at most a majority of two. Unlike in Britain, the two chambers
have equal power and all legislation must pass both twice before
becoming law.
So, two (2) equal chambers on a two (2) pass system. We know more
about the Italian parliament than we did yesterday, and this strikes
us a bit odd when we've been reading about it over and over again for
a week or two. (They don't make good on the implicit claim to explain
the power of the presidency; presumably an alert sub-editor whipped
that out to prevent it falling into the Wrong Hands.)
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2006-04-25 10:22
It
is a mighty streamlining!
Vincent van Quickenborne, a hyperactive 32-year-old,
leads the effort with his Kafka initiative. The minister for
administrative simplification says he has shelved 130 rules over three
years. He invites Belgians to e-mail further candidates to his
website, kafka.be.
There is no shortage of material. He has scrapped a rule obliging the
blind to have a permit for a white stick and a ban on foreigners
owning pigeons to foil wartime spies. He is particularly proud of
ending the need for drivers to pay an annual 2.3m fines with special
stamps. A simple bank transfer has replaced time-consuming trips to
the post office.
Is that Max "Chuckles" Weber we hear chuckling his approval from
beyond the grave?
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2006-04-24 17:22
We've recently been weaned off the Telegraaf in favour of the slightly
more grown-up Algemeen Dagbladet, somewhat to the relief of Dr Zweetie.
(The Telegraaf is like Aftonbladet without the redeeming features,
which is to say it's not very like it at all.) We're still not ready
for the Volkskrant, to say nothing of the intelligentsia's favourite,
the NRC.
Meanwhile, since we diligently pretend to believe that our Cherman
should be improving too, and since especially we can't get the
low-down on Mitteleuropa from Bild, we've ransacked the Beeb's guide to
Austrian bladets and we're currently eyeing up Die Presse. So if
it is in some way or manner unworthy of our attention, we'd be glad to
know. They do at least seem to know where Hungaria
is, and they're in pretty select company on that one, for sure.
[Permalink]
2006-04-24 14:10
It is the
alternative, Expressen, which is staging a prinsesswar in its fevered
imagination. The contestents are Her Beigeness, Prinsess Madeleine of
Zweden, and Her Civilianship, the not-even-prinsess Charlotte of
Monaco.
Expressen's readers - those masters of cosmopolitan irony - have voted
four (4) to one (1) for Madde in the corresponding poll.
(Prinsessgossip has been at a trickle lately, isn't it? There's
always the Kronprinsfred and the birthday no-show, but the
Kronprinsfred isn't a prinsess so who cares?)
[Permalink]
2006-04-24 11:26
In our imaginary universe, there would be a magazine called
Backstory and when there were elections in Hungaria it would
brief you on why the Socialists were mates with the fiscally-prudent
liberals of the Free Democrats ("SZDSZ" in Hungroonian) and that the
point out that Hungroonian is in fact unicameral (are there
many of those in Yoorp?) so that this is a disproportionately big
deal, what with a largely non-executive presidency too.
(The 'Pedia fills
much of the gap, of course, but we want to be spoonfed, puh-lease.)
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