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2002-01-30 4:00 p.m.

icke r�kare

Icke r�kare

Sometime after 5 o'clock on Saturday morning I was woken up by a car alarm going off in the street. My mouth was dry and my throat was sore, but I had a cigarette anyway.

And I haven't had one since. Not entirely coincidentally, I've felt terrible ever since. Saturday and Sunday I tried force-feeding myself as a distraction, and washed the food down with a bottle of gin. Perhaps unsurprisingly, nothing would stay down. Throughout the weekend I felt so bad that the only thing that stopped me from smoking was that I would have to go through that again when I gave up next time, and that all this would have been for nothing.

The light-headedness that supposedly lasts no more than 48 hours is still going strong. And my throat still hurts.


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